Thoughts about my future

Hi, everyone.
So here I am again to share with you some of my thoughts. I'm gonna pass going to take an English exam in May of 2016. Seems like I have a lot of time, but time is running out fast, so I don't even notice. I'm in panic. Yep, I'm in panic now, 9 months before the exam. I do my best, but sometimes it feels like I don't do enough.
All Everything depends on this exam. Here in Russia it's exams are so fucking difficult. I should need to pass exams with a perfect score to go to the university for free. If I pass exams not so good with an average score, I'll have to pay for my education. Unfortunately,  me and my mom don't have enough money for it. That's why I am so nervous. To tell you the truth, I would like to take a rest year off after finishing high school, but here no-one knows about 'gap-year'. It's really popular in America and Europe, but in Russia, about 98% of the people go to uni just after high school. Gosh, I'd love to live somewhere in Europe...
Maybe I just worry too much, but it's so fucking important to me, I have to get an education, I have to break free, and to leave the city in which I live, because I don't like it at all. Also, I'm so afraid to dissapoint my mother's hopes. She wants a better life for me.
Why should everything be so difficult?

Hello Ann.  I tried to keep your style intact as much as I could.

Take care :)