A Part- time job could help children prepare for the adults life Recently, with dramatic boom in science and technology, the requeriment of students is extremely improved simultaneously. For instan

Isabel

A Part- time job could help children prepare for the adults life Recently, with dramatic boom in science and technology, the requeriment of students is extremely improved simultaneously. For instance, the competition among graduate students on applying for jobs is exagerated rapidly. As a result, parents are relatively worried about the method of education to help their kids prepare for adult life. In my opinion, the best way is to encourage them to take a part-time job. To begin with, there is obviously a tremendeous difference between the life in campus and the real society. For example, the necessity of communication and cooperation with numerous kinds of people, which requires sophisticated social skills of children intensively. While, a part-time job could absolutely offer some essential oppertunities for students to improve their social skills, such as being a assistant at an office, or being a student representive of a travel engency, both of them could play a dominant role on the practice of social skills. In addition, taking a part time job could help teenage children manage time well. Even though there could be a big difference between a part- time job and a full-time job, the teenage childrem could also benifit from the variation in time of a part-time job. For example, a translator have balance the time between the part-time job and study, in that case, the capability of managing time is enhanced greatly. Additionally, it could be a pretty good help for children to adjust the complicated scoiety. Last but not the least, a part-time job could also stimulate some inovated ideas or abilities of teenage children. Take an secretary as an example, the task of a secretary is to write some professional essays about meetings or significant projects, which could definitely promote the teenage's writing skills, therefore it makes a contribution to the preparation for adult life. In summary, with the inadaquate preparition for adult life, teenage children can not go through the transition well, a part-time job could be a bridge between the naive campus and complex society.

Sep 3, 2015 3:18 PM

Corrections · 6

A Part- time job could help children prepare for the adults life adult life (a standard english term)

Recently, with the dramatic boom in science and technology, the requeriment (SPELLING requirement) of students is [extremely improved simultaneously] not clear.

better could be ...the requirement of students is increased substantially

For instance, the competition among graduate students on applying for jobs is exagerated rapidly.

better could be ...For instance, the competition among graduate students applying for jobs is now much greater.

As a result, parents are relatively worried about the method of education to help their kids prepare for adult life. In my opinion, the best way is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
To begin with, there is obviously a tremendeous difference between the life in campus and the real society. For example, the necessity of communication and cooperation with numerous kinds of people, which requires sophisticated social skills of children intensively.[not needed. this makes the sentence seem clumsy]

While, a part-time job could absolutely offer some essential oppertunities [SPELLING opportunities]for students to improve their social skills, such as being an assistant at an office, or being a student representive of a travel engency agency, both of them could play a dominant role on in the practice develpment of social skills.

In addition, taking a part time job could help teenage children manage their time well. Even though there could be a big difference between a part- time job and a full-time job, the teenage childrem could also benifit benefit from the variation in time of a part-time job. For example, a translator can have balance their time between the part-time job and study, in that case, the capability of managing time is enhanced greatly. Additionally, it could be a pretty good help for children to adjust to the complicated complications of scoiety.
Last but not the least, a part-time job could also stimulate some innovated ideas or abilities of teenage children. Take an secretary as an example; the task of a secretary is to write some professional essays about meetings or significant projects, which could definitely promote the teenager's writing skills, therefore it makes a contribution to the preparation for adult life.
In summary, with the inadaquate preparition for adult life, teenage children can not go through the transition well, so a part-time job could be a bridge between the naive campus and complex society.

Wow, this is really advanced. You should be very pleased with this. Although there are mistakes, many English people would not write with such fluency. One interesting thing I might mention to help your absolute fluency would be to avoid repetition of phrases where there are obvious alternatives. Three repetitions of an unsual phrase starts to sound a *tiny* bit inelegant. The repetition I noticed in this was the phrase "preparation/prepare for adult-life".

Superb though!

September 3, 2015

A Part- time job could help children prepare for the adults life

Recently, with the dramatic boom in science and technology, the requeriment of students is extremely improved simultaneously. (do you mean "the pressure on students has also increased?") For instance, the competition among graduate students on applying for jobs is exagerated has increased rapidly. As a result, parents are relatively worried about the which method of education to can best help their kids prepare for adult life. In my opinion, the best way is to encourage them to take a part-time job.

To begin with, there is obviously a tremendeous (or "enormous") difference between the life in on campus and the in real society. For example, in wider society the necessity of communication and cooperation people are required to communicate and cooperate with numerous different kinds of people, which requires sophisticated social skills of children intensively. While, Taking a part-time job could absolutely offer some essential opportunities for students to improve their social skills, such as being an assistant at in an office, or being a student representive of a travel engency. Both of them could play a dominant role on the give students plenty of opportunities to practice of their social skills.

In addition, taking a part time job could help teenagers children manage their time well. Even though there could be a big difference between a part- time job and a full-time job, the teenagers childrem could also benifit from the variation (?) in time of a part-time job. For example, a translator have has to balance the time between the part-time job and study. In that case, the capability of ability to manageing time is enhanced greatly. Additionally, it could be a pretty good in helping for children students to adjust the to complicated scoiety.

Last but not the least, a part-time job could also stimulate inspire some teenagers to have innovative ideas or and develop their abilities of teenage children. Take an secretary as an example. The task of a secretary is to write some professional essays documents about meetings or significant projects, which could definitely promote develop the teenager's writing skills, therefore it makes a contribution to their preparation for adult life.

In summary, with the inadaquate preparation for adult life, teenagers children can not go through the find the transition to adult life difficult. well, A part-time job could be a bridge between the naive campus life and complex society.

Good

September 3, 2015