Julián Sánchez
Today is my frist day My name is Julián Sánchez, i'm from Veracruz, my favorite team of the football soccer is Real Madrid, my favorite player soccer is Zinedine Zidane. My favorite hobbie is listen music and watch tv, my favorite singer is Miguel Bosé, I am in the page, because i like learn english, improve my vocabulary, for the wich i hope than in this website i can me teach.
Sep 4, 2015 3:41 PM
Corrections · 3

Today is my first day

My name is Julián Sánchez, I'm from Veracruz, my favorite soccer/football team is Real Madrid, and my favorite player soccer is Zinedine Zidane. My favorite hobbies are listening to music and watching tv, and my favorite singer is Miguel Bosé. I am on this page, because I want to learn english and improve my vocabulary, which I hope I can do on this website.

 

Good introduction! Note: sometimes "I" is written "i," especially on the internet, but "I" is the correct way.

September 4, 2015

Today is my frist day

My name is Julián Sánchez, and I am from Veracruz. My favorite team in football/soccer is Real Madrid, and my favorite player soccer is Zinedine Zidane. My favorite hobbie is listening to music and watching tv. My favorite singer is Miguel Bosé, and I am on this page because I like to learn English and improve my vocabulary, for which I hope that this website can help.

 

Some notes about my edits:

- every sentence is an idea with a noun and verb. In this paragraph, I shortened the ideas to a two sentence combination. I ended the ideas with a period. 

- between each sentence is the conjunction "and"; I personally like to put a comma before those types of conjunctions because it helps your reader slow down and prepare for the next idea (the next noun and verb).

 

Keep up the good work!

September 4, 2015
Somewhere I think can be better to put in this way: *is listening to music and watching tv *i like to learn english *the rest of last sentence you may want to try again in other way. :)
September 4, 2015
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