Iuri Trevizani
An important chapter of my life story When I was a teenager, I played football 3 times a week. Everyday that I had sports in my schedule I used to be happy, but everything changed on August 14. I was playing as goalkeeper when someone kicked the ball in my direction and I turned my body to try to catch it. That was the moment when I suffered a ligament damage in my left knee. Almost immediatly, I tried to put my patella in the right place and some minutes after that my mother went to my school to take me to the hospital. At the end of the day, I knew that I would deal with a lot of problems for some months. P.S: This is my first text here at iTalki and my goal is writing 1 text per week. Feel free to correct me and to suggest something about my writing. See you and thanks :)
Oct 8, 2015 5:45 PM
Corrections · 3
1

An important chapter of my life story

An Important Chapter in My Life

When I was a teenager, I played football soccer 3 times a week.

Everyday that I had sports in my schedule I used to be happy,
I was happy on the days I was scheduled to play,
I was happy on the days I got to play,
but everything changed on August 14
but on August 14th everything changed. I was playing as goalkeeper when someone kicked the ball in my direction While playing goalkeeper, someone kicked the ball towards me and I turned my body to try to catch it. That was the moment when I suffered a ligament damage In that moment, I damaged a ligament in my left knee. Almost immediatly, I tried to put my patella in place immediately; some minutes after that minutes later my mother went to my picked me up from school to and take took me to the hospital. At the end of the day, I knew that I would deal with a lot of problems for some months. I knew I'd have a long recovery ahead of me.


P.S: This is my first text entry here at iTalki and my goal is writing to write 1 text entry per week. Feel free to correct me and to suggest something about my writing. provide any corrections or feedback on my writing.

See you and thanks :)

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I would
Notes: I'm sorry if it was too much, you did EXCELLENT for your first time writing here. As you become older and more proficient in English you learn how to to shorten unnecessary words while strengthening your articulation and the detail of the content. Please let me know how I can better help you or if I should go easier to help you get better. This is my first time in teaching or helping individuals get better. 
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-Revised-

An Important Chapter in My Life
When I was a teenager, I played soccer 3 times a week. I was happy on the days I got to play, but on August 14th everything changed. While playing goalkeeper, someone kicked the ball towards me and I turned my body to try to catch it. At that moment, I damaged a ligament in my left knee. I tried to put my patella in place immediately; minutes later my mother picked me up from school and took me to the hospital. At the end of the day, I knew I'd have a long recovery ahead of me. 


P.S. This is my first entry here at iTalki and my goal is to write 1 entry per week. Feel free to provide any corrections or feedback on my writing. 

October 16, 2015
1

An important chapter of my life story

When I was a teenager, I played football 3 times a week. Every day that I had sports in my schedule I used to be happy, but everything changed on August 14. I was playing as goalkeeper when someone kicked the ball in my direction and I turned my body to try to catch it. That was the moment when I suffered a ligament damage in my left knee. Almost immediatly, I tried to put my patella in the right place and some minutes after that my mother went to my school to take me to the hospital. At the end of the day, I knew that I would deal with a lot of problems for some months.

P.S: This is my first text here at iTalki and my goal is writing 1 text per week. Feel free to correct me and to suggest something about my writing.

See you and thanks :)

 

<em>[Excellent.]</em>

October 8, 2015
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