Jackie ジャッキー
私が反映しているように (As I reflect) 私は、月や星を見ます。 私が反映しているように I see the clouds afar They rush to me and cover my view 彼らは私に殺到し、私の見解をカバー of the stars and their beauty and as I reflect I think of me 私が反映しているように、は私の考え of life and how it move like water, it flows, forever going 水のように、それは永遠に行き、流れ As I reflect. 私が反映しているように。 この詩は、英語と日本語と一緒に読み込まれます。それは私のサイドプロジェクトが1詩に言語組み合わせましたザことでした。(This poem is read together with English and Japanese. It was a side project of mine to form to languages into one poem. )
Nov 24, 2015 7:44 AM
Corrections · 8
1

詩が好きなので、自己流ですが、一例として作ってみました。やはり理解が難しいところがあり、間違っている個所があれば、ご指摘ください。(Daisukeさんのコメントも参照させて頂きました。おそれいります。)

 

Because I like poems, I tried to translate into Japanese one as an example. Some parts I still felt not easy to understand, so if any part you feel I don't catch well of your thought, you should better point out. (I also refered to the comments of Daisuke san for understanding, for which I want to say thank to him.)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I reflect

心の中を覗くように

 

As I reflect I see the moon and stars.
私は、月や星を見ます、心の中を覗くように。
As I reflect, I see the clouds afar.
私は、遠くに雲を眺めます、心の中を覗くように。

 

They rush to me and cover my view.
それらは、私の所へやってきて、私の思いをやさしく包む。
They rushed me to cover my opinion of the stars and their beauty,
さらに、私の中に入り込み、星のように美しい私の考えに変わった。
and as I reflect I think of me.
そして、私が心の中を覗くとき、私は自分自身のことを考えている。

 

As I reflect, my opinion of life and how it moves is like water, it flows, forever going.
私が心の中を覗くとき、私の生命とその鼓動は、川のように絶え間なく流れる。
As in the water, it went forever, flowing. As I reflect.
そして、私は水になり、絶え間なく流れていた。私が心の中を覗くとき。[*1]

 

So I have to reflect.
だから私はこれを止めない。


*1 My impression of this part is when you reflect, at first you see like the water flowing, but after a while, you felt like you had become water itself. 


他にも、いい訳があれば、拝見したいです。If there were another good translation of friends, I would like to see them. Thank you.

December 3, 2015
Thanks. And I have an another question. Is "as" equal to "while" in this poem? or "like, such as" or another meanings?
December 1, 2015
I am using reflect in the term of 1) a reflection and 2) thinking back on something, "reflecting on my decisions in life". So, I am thinking deeply or carefully about the past and future. Synonyms for reflect; to meditate on, muse on, brood on/over, to turn over in one's mind.
November 30, 2015
この場合、reflectはどのような意味で使っていますか?別の単語で表現可能であれば教えてください。反映するだと詩の雰囲気が伝わりにくい気がしました。In this case, what does "reflect" mean? Could you express another word instead of "reflect" ? I feel the translation "反映する" doesn't suit this poem.
November 30, 2015
Here is what the poem looks like in English if anyone wants to know what I was trying to write. (As I reflect I see the moon and stars. As I reflect, I see the clouds afar.They rush to me and cover my view. They rushed me to cover my opinion of the stars and their beauty, and as I reflect I think of me. As I reflect, my opinion of life and how it moves is like water, it flows, forever going. As in the water, it went forever, flowing. As I reflect. So I have to reflect. )
November 24, 2015
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!