Takuya
Should the Japanese government encourage more immigration? This essay title is from the EIKEN Test in Practical English Proficiency, very popular English test in Japan. Could you check my essay? The essay includes some rules as below ; *Write an essay on the given TOPIC covering three of the POINTS below. *Structure : Three or more paragraphs, including an introduction and conclusion *Length : Around 200 words TOPIC Should the Japanese government encourage more immigration? POINTS ・Birthrate (My choice) ・Costs ・Identity ・Tax ・Workforce (My choice) ・Culture (My choice)  Looking around the world, many countries accept immigrants and grow their economy thanks to their powers. Considering the Japan's low growth in economy, Japanese government should encourage more immigration.  Birth rate in Japan is very small compared with other developed countries. What is more, we are facing the aging society and lacking of people who will support elderly peple. Larage number of immigrants will solve the problem.  Immigrants will also be workforce especially for rural areas. We are lacking of those who work as farmers and fishermen, although we cannot live without them. What is worse, young pepole hesitate to succeed to such works and that causes traditional skills disappear. Immigrants have a chance to help rural areas.  Not only do we have a good effect on economy, but also do we have a possitive effect on our culture. It is said that Japanese culture is diverse, but isolated from the world. Nowadays, many foreigners visit Japan, but we cannot make ourselves understood in their language. If immigrants settle in Japan, we have much chance to talk to them in their language and brush the speaking skill. Finally, we can deliver our own culture to the world by ourselves.  By accepting immigrants, we can solve the big issue not only from the economical points, but also from the cultural points. 220 words
Nov 25, 2015 6:27 AM
Corrections · 5
1

Should the Japanese government encourage more immigration?

This essay title is from the EIKEN Test in Practical English Proficiency, (a) very popular English test in Japan.
Could you check my essay?

The essay includes some (of the) rules () below ;

*Write an essay on the given TOPIC covering three of the POINTS below.
*Structure : Three or more paragraphs, including an introduction and conclusion
*Length : Around 200 words

TOPIC
Should the Japanese government encourage more immigration?

POINTS
・Birthrate (My choice)
・Costs
・Identity
・Tax
・Workforce (My choice)
・Culture (My choice)

 Looking around the world, many countries accept immigrants and grow their economy thanks to their powers. Considering the Japan's low growth in economy, Japanese government should encourage more immigration.
 Birth rate in Japan is very (low) compared with other developed countries. (Moreover), we are facing (an) aging society and lacking () people who will support elderly peple. (Large) number of immigrants (may) solve the problem.
 Immigrants will also be workforce especially for rural areas. We (lack in) those who work as farmers and fishermen, although we cannot live without them. What is worse (is that) young (people) (hesitate to succeed) such (jobs) and that causes traditional skills disappear. Immigrants have a chance to help rural areas.
 Not only do we have a good effect on economy, but also do we have a possitive effect on our culture. (Do you mean, 'Not only does immigration have a good impact on our economy, but also our culture.'?) It is said that Japanese culture is diverse, but isolated from the world. Nowadays, many foreigners visit Japan, but we cannot make ourselves understood in their language. If immigrants settle in Japan, we have (many opportunities) to talk to them in their language and brush the speaking skill. Finally, we can deliver our own culture to the world by ourselves.
 By accepting immigrants, we can solve the big (economical and cultural issues).

220 words

 

It is a good essay, bro. I ,too, feel that Japan should take in more people. Hopefully, one day I can live in Japan. :)

November 25, 2015
1
Looking around the world, many countries accept immigrants and grow their economies thanks to their powers. Considering the Japan's low economic growth in economy, the Japanese government should encourage more immigration.
 Birth rate in Japan is very small low compared with other developed countries. What is more, we are facing the an aging society and lacking of people who will support elderly people. Larage Large number of immigrants will solve the problem.
 Immigrants will also be workforce especially for rural areas. (I can't understand what you mean here) We are also lacking of those who work as farmers and fishermen, although we cannot live without them. What is worse, young pepole people hesitate to succeed take to such works jobs and that causes traditional skills to disappear. Immigrants have a chance to help rural areas.
 Not only do will we have a good effect on the economy, but also do we have a possitive effect on our culture. It is said that Japanese culture is diverse, but isolated from the world. Nowadays, many foreigners visit Japan, but we cannot make ourselves understood in their language. If immigrants settle in Japan, we have much many more chances to talk to them in their language and brush the our speaking skills. Finally, we can deliver our own culture to the world by ourselves. (deliver is probably correct but strange, maybe export)
 By accepting immigrants, we can solve the big issues not only from the economical points, but also from the cultural points.

November 25, 2015
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