Daisy
my life Have you ever ask your self that what should you do untill you death.Well I think about it in my mind for so long. If I have a lot of money first Im gonna traveling , eat everything I wanna eat before, buy everything I like I really wanna enjoy my life. Beside I must care about my parent and my work. haha that's life. Now only one thing make me happy is food , can you believe it?
Nov 26, 2015 2:00 PM
Corrections · 2
2

My life

Have you ever asked yourself that what you should you do while you are alive/before you die/untill your death. Well, I have thought/been thinking about it (in my mind) for so long. If I hadve a lot of money, first, I'm gonna going to go traveling , eat everything I wantna to eat before, buy everything I like, and I really wanna want to enjoy my life. Besides that, I must care for/about my parents and my work. haha that's life. Now only one thing makes me happy, which is food , can you believe it?

 

<em>We can't have everything we would like, and the secret of happiness is to be able to get pleasure from the little things in life which we so often 'take for granted' :  a beautiful sunrise or sunset, the colours of the leaves on the trees, the singing of birds, and so on, . . and by helping others less fortunate than ourselves.</em>

November 26, 2015
1

My life

Have you ever asked yourself that what you should  do before your death. Well I have thought  about it in my mind for so long. If I have a lot of money, first I'm going to travel, eat everything I want to eat before, buy everything I like.  I really want to enjoy my life. Beside I must care about my parents and my work. Haha that's life. Now only one thing makes me happy and it is food , can you believe it?

 

Hello Tit,

Enjoy your life and enjoy your food! You may say 'wanna' and 'gonna' but please don't write it. In the first sentence you have a present perfect which is really good , just remember to use the past participle of the main verb (ask > asked > asked). You also had an embedded question. This is a question which is introduced by an earlier expression. When you have an embedded question just use the normal word order after the question word - no inversion.

 

Keep up the writing, look at some of your earlier work and see how much better it is getting.

 

 Remember practice makes perfect.

 

Bob

November 26, 2015
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