Practice: IELTS Writing Task 2 (Cambridge Book-8, Practice-4) Topic: In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you

Md Abul Bashar

Practice: IELTS Writing Task 2 (Cambridge Book-8, Practice-4) Topic: In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? Answer: Poor food habits and modern job pattern that requires less physical activities are the main reasons for increased weight, and reduced health and fitness levels of people in some countries. It is decreasing the national productivity and raising the costs for health care. Healthy food, exercise and sports are some measures that can be taken to mitigate these problems. To begin with, because people are busy in this age of high competition, they pay less attention to their foods. For example, in their busy schedule, most of the time they depend on fast foods and other junk foods. These foods are high in calories and contain huge amount of fat and sugar that are the main elements to boost the weight of people up. Moreover, the knowledge based economy demands people to sit down and work at their desks, which require minimal physical movement. As a result, their calories are not burned, which leaves them with additional fat stored in their bodies. Besides, to keep the body fit, every person need to have enough physical movement, but the new job pattern does not allow them to do that. Some measures, for keeping the average weight of population low and maintaining the high levels health and fitness, can be enough physical exercise, participation to sports and consumption of healthy foods. Physical exercise and sports will help to keep fit and healthy while healthy foods will help not to add up extra calories or fat in the body. In conclusion, I think, the main causes of increased average weight and decreased levels of health and fitness of people in some countries are consumption of junk food and less physical movement associated with modern jobs. Measures like healthy food, physical exercise and sports can lessen these problems significantly.

Nov 28, 2015 2:39 PM

Corrections · 2

Practice: IELTS Writing Task 2 (Cambridge Book-8, Practice-4)

Topic: In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.

What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Answer:
Poor food habits and modern job pattern that requires less physical activities are the main reasons for increased weight, <-- remove comma and reduced health and fitness levels of people in some countries. It is decreasing the national productivity and raising the costs for of health care. Healthy food, exercise and sports are some measures that can be taken to mitigate these problems.

To begin with, because people are busy in this age of high competition, they pay less attention to their foods. For example, in their busy schedule, most of the time they depend on fast foods and other junk foods. These foods are high in calories and contain huge amount of fat and sugar that are the main elements to boost in boosting the weight of people up. [you do not need "up" because "boost" already implies that there is an increase]

Moreover, the knowledge-based economy demands people to sit down and work at their desks, which require minimal physical movement. As a result, their calories are not burned, which leaves them with additional fat stored in their bodies. Besides, to keep the body fit, every person needs to have enough physical movement, but the new job pattern does not allow them to do that.

Some measures, <-- remove comma for keeping the average weight of population low and maintaining the high levels of health and fitness, <-- remove comma can be enough physical exercise, participation to in sports and consumption of healthy foods. Physical exercise and sports will help to keep fit and healthy while healthy foods will help not to add up extra calories or fat in the body.

In conclusion, I think [it is okay to use "I" and "me" on IELTS, but in general, try to practice not using first person pronouns when doing academic writings. The reader already knows that it's your opinion since you are the one writing the essay, so just state it like it's a fact. "In conclusion, the main causes are..."] the main causes of increased average weight and decreased levels of health and fitness of people in some countries are consumption of junk food and less physical movement associated with modern jobs. Measures like healthy food, physical exercise and sports can lessen these problems significantly.