RuanJinhao
Look and Write The picture below shows us the situation that a boy don't want to go to school,for he think he can know everything from his mobile phone. As far as I'm concerned,I don't agree with what he said. I think it's a terrible thought.First of all,as we know,mobile phone brings us convenience because of it's intelligent,but it also shows its side effect that we can easily get addicted to it.Secondly,mobile phone is just like an assistant,it can help us search information but can not be our teacher.School is like a small society.It can not only teach us knowledge but also make us know how to get along with others,which mobile phone can not provide to us.Last but not least,school can help us be a mature man in all directions. All in all,it's necessary to tell children that they go to school is not just for knowledge but also for something else.So I hold the belief that mobile phone can not take the place of school.
Nov 29, 2015 6:10 AM
Corrections · 3

Look and Write

The picture below shows us depicts the situation that where a boy don't doesn't want to go to school, for because he thinks he can know find everything to know from his mobile phone.
As far as I'm concerned, I don't agree with what he said. I think it's a terrible thought. First of all, as we know, mobile phones bring us convenience because of it's intelligent they are so advanced, but it also shows its a side effect is that that we can easily get addicted to it them. Secondly, mobile phones is are just like an assistant- it they can help us search for information but can not be our teacher. School is like a small society: It can Not only can it teach us knowledge but it also make teaches us know how to get along with others, which mobile phones can not provide to us. Last but not least, school can help us become a mature man in all directions all sorts of ways.
All in all, it's necessary to tell children that when they go to school it is not just for knowledge but also for something else much more. So I hold the belief still believe that mobile phones can not take the place of school.

 

Hi meisruan, I made suggestions in blue, I hope you find them helpful. Also, a suggestion for your writing in the future, place spaces between your punctuation (ex. periods or commas) for general formatting and structure.
Compare:
"...provide to us.Last but not least,school can help us be a mature man in all directions."

"...provide to us. Last but not least, school can help us be a mature man in all directions.

November 29, 2015
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