Diego
Hey, I would appreciate it if you would correct my essay "Music" Music plays an important role in society, other think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion Answer Arts have profoundly shaped our societies and the way we see the world. Therefore, no one can imagine the planet without music. Some people state that music is a cornerstone in societies, while others claim that music it is a mere way of entertainment. Both points of way are valid to me and it is worth analyzing them. Music has been an influential cultural manifestation that have effectively reflected society at different stages of history. For example, every ancient culture have perpetuated their legacy through music keeping their costumes alive. We currently can see this phenomenon in modern African music or South American music where the cultural nuances play an important role. Hence, thinking of music as a simple hobby could minimize its huge impact on civilizations. Historically, music has been a powerful tool when it comes to expressing our feelings and thoughts as an individuals and as societies alike. For instance, in many countries, musicians have protested against dictatorships using beautiful songs, or many people have started a social movement in the case of blues. Music has not been only an entertainment but it has been a cultural manifestation in every part of the world. Thus, considering music as an entertainment and not as a cultural breakthrough could be inaccurate. In brief, through the years music has been a cultural manifestation that has described social issues and has been the voice of the people in several countries. Consequently, labeling music as a mere way of entertainment could be a naive conception. It is hoped that global societies keep on working on maintaining the legacy of music, thus, future generations will have the pleasure to enjoying it.
Nov 29, 2015 7:54 PM
Corrections · 2
1

Hola Diego

 

Realmente me ha encantado tu redacción. Estaba esperando encontrarme alguna de mi nivel para poder ayudarte, pero esta se me escapa de las manos.

Tienes un gran nivel. ¿Habías planteado prácticar el género del ensayo?

Tus argumentos son muy sólidos y es muy bello el texto (Ya sé que es solo un ejercicio jaja)

 

Por último, enhorabuena por tu gran riqueza hablando de vocabulario! Me gusta leer libros en inglés, pero hacía tiempo que no disfrutaba tanto leyendo...

Sencillamente alucinante!

November 29, 2015
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