Effects of the Internet The Internet, one of the greatest inventions in the long river of human history, has changed the world in an amazing tempo. People sing high praise of the development of the In

Mary

Effects of the Internet The Internet, one of the greatest inventions in the long river of human history, has changed the world in an amazing tempo. People sing high praise of the development of the Internet, while the notes of discord also surface-- the Internet imposes threatens to the world, owing to the damages it has caused to our lives. The threatens might exist; however, in the long term, benefits streaming out from the Internet will prevail. Above all, the Internet, acting as an invisible bridge, connects people from all over the world. It is unbelievable for our ancestors that the people in the America can have a communication with those in China through the Internet in a flash, and that Chinese are able to splash out in the American online shops by only moving their fingers and clicking the mouse. The Internet shortens the distance among people and turns the seemingly divided world into a closely-connected village. Next, the Internet is a huge store with a sea of information inside. It is very convenient for people in different spheres to search professional knowledge on the Internet. Besides, news around the world will be displayed on the Internet every day, authentic and inclusive. The catch-up of current events through the Internet is as easy as pie. Last but not least, there are thousands of ways of entertainments on the Internet-- from watching TV series and listening to music to shopping online and playing games. The light of the Internet shines through dark clouds, and all of a sudden, the world is blazing with colour. The negative effects, such as false information which misleads people, scams online that are uneasy to curb, do not originate from the Internet itself. It is the offenders that take advantage of the Internet and cast a shadow on it. All in all, the overall effect of the Internet is positive in spite of negative effects occur in parallel with it.

Nov 30, 2015 5:30 AM

Corrections · 4

Effects of the Internet

The Internet, one of the greatest inventions in the long river of human history, has changed the world in an amazing tempo pace (only used for music). People sing high praise of for the development of the Internet, while the notes of discord also surface-- the Internet imposes threatens to the world, owing to the damages it has caused to our lives. The threatens might exist; however, in the long term, benefits streaming out from the Internet will prevail.

Above all, the Internet, acting as an invisible bridge, connects people from all over the world, acting as an invisible bridge (sounds better) alternative: Above all, like an invisible bridge the Internet connects people from all over the world. It's better to avoid too many pauses in your sentences if possible. It is would be unbelievable to for our ancestors that the people in the America can have a communication communicate in a flash with those in China through the Internet in a flash, and that Chinese are able to splash out (looks a little out of place here. The tone of this writing is rather formal, but "splash out" is very informal) in the American online shops by only moving their fingers and clicking the mouse (alternative: at the click of a mouse). The Internet shortens the distance among people and turns the seemingly divided world into a closely-connected village.

Next, Moreover, the Internet is a huge store with a sea of information inside. It is very convenient for people in different spheres professional areas to search professional /specialised (to avoid repetition of "professional") knowledge on the Internet. Besides, Not only that, (VERY common misconception: besides does NOT mean "and", it means "anyway": look this up in a corpus like www.jukuu.com for examples) news around the world will be displayed on the Internet every day, authentic and inclusive. The catch-up of current events through the Internet is as easy as pie (again, very informal).

Last but not least, there are thousands of ways to keep entertained of entertainments on the Internet-- from watching TV series and listening to music to shopping online and playing games. The light of the Internet shines through dark clouds, and all of a sudden, the world is blazing with colour.

The negative effects, such as false information which misleads people, or online scams online that are uneasy difficult (uneasy = uncomfortable) to curb, do not originate from the Internet itself. It is the offenders that take advantage of the Internet and cast a shadow on it show it in a bad light.

All in all, the overall effect of the Internet is positive in spite of negative effects occur in parallel with it.

Nice writing! It would be good to know what this is written for I'm just curious as this doesn't really follow traditional essay format (intro/body/conclusion) very strictly. That's fine if you're just writing your thoughts, but could be an issue if this was for, say, IELTS or TOEFL.

Keep working on collocations and prepositions. Also be careful with synonyms (eg. "tempo", which means "pace" but has far fewer collocations), and be especially careful with idiomatic phrases like "easy as pie" and "splash out". There are always easier, less "risky" ways to express ideas where you're less likely to make a mistake than using an idiom.

Well done!

November 30, 2015

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