Someone can correct these two short stories? And tell me if you liked them! Thank you :) REVENGE IS SWEET It was Halloween night and the little dog was constantly scared by the terrifying costumes

Inma

Someone can correct these two short stories? And tell me if you liked them! Thank you :) REVENGE IS SWEET It was Halloween night and the little dog was constantly scared by the terrifying costumes. The children finally came back home after their trick or treat walk, with sack full of sweets, and the dog was frightened again, so he ran to hide into the cupboard, where the children had saved their sweets. When the kids were to take the sack, the dog had eaten all the sweets. A HOLIDAY ROMANCE The seven years old kid of the family was extremely sad after their return from the summer holidays at the beach. His father was worried about him and told the kid they will be back on holiday soon to another cooler place. The kid was even more upset and said: "But I fell in love with the girl of the reception desk and I will never meet her again!"

Dec 1, 2015 11:41 AM

Corrections · 5

Someone can correct these two short stories?

And let me know me if you enjoyed them! Thank you :)

REVENGE IS SWEET
It was the night of Halloween and the little dog was being scared constantly by all of the terrifying costumes. When the children finally arrived back home with a sack full of sweets from their trick or treating, the dog was frightened again. He ran to hide into the cupboard, where the children had stored their sweets. When the kids returned to find the sack, the dog had eaten all the sweets.

A HOLIDAY ROMANCE
The youngest of the family, a boy of 7 years old, was extremely sad when the family returned from their summer holidays at the beach. His father was worried about him and reassured his son that they would be going back on holiday soon to another, even cooler place. The kid was even more upset, and said "But I fell in love with the girl on the reception and now I'll never see her again!"

December 1, 2015

Someone can correct these two short stories?

And tell me if you liked them! Thank you :)

REVENGE IS SWEET
It was Halloween night and the little dog was constantly scared by the terrifying costumes. The children finally came back home after their trick or treat walk, with a sack full of sweets,. and The dog was still frightened again, so he ran to and hide into the cupboard, where the children had saved their sweets [I would say 'candy' here since you already used 'sweets' so many times]. When the kids were to take the sack, looked in the cupboard, the dog had eaten all the sweets.!

A HOLIDAY ROMANCE
The seven years old kid of the family was extremely sad after their return from the summer holidays at the beach. His father was worried about him and so he told the kid him they will would be back on holiday soon to another cooler place, soon. The kid was even more upset and said:, "but I fell in love with the girl of at the reception desk* and I will never meet see her again!"

*to enhance the story: "but I fell in love with the girl at the reception desk," as he painful looked down at the ground, "and I will never see her again!"

GOOD STORIES!!!

December 1, 2015

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