Hello Chul! ^^

Good job on your essay! Very minimal mistakes. Keep it up! ^^

~Charlie

I like animals, especially dogs, but I can't raise one. I'm not afford to feed a pet.

>> I like animals especially dogs but I can't afford to raise one.

There are some cats and dogs in my neighborhood and I usually play with them when I go for a walk. I hope I will raise one some day.

>> There are some cats and dogs around my neighborhood and I usually play with them whenever I go for a walk. I hope I can raise one someday.