James B
First notebook entry: Introducing myself 我姓 Barton, 名叫James。我从纽卡斯尔来。我现在住在伦敦。我三十四岁。我在一个办公室工作。我的公司的名字是 Schroders. 再见!
Jul 15, 2011 12:48 AM
Corrections · 13

First notebook entry: Introducing myself

我姓 Barton, 名叫James。我从纽卡斯尔来。我现在住在伦敦。我三十四岁。我在一个办公室工作。我的公司的名字是 Schroders.

再见!


Very good as a start! Enough to let me who you are, where are you living and what do you do. And I believe you can be better from suggestions for improvement.

Here are my suggestions: 

1. 从纽卡斯尔来。This expression is used when you come from a place which is near where you are now.   another better way to say where you come from is: 我来自纽卡斯尔。

2. 我在一个办公室工作。There is a strong sense of transflation from English, here you can use 我在办公室上班。 (I work in an office.)"一个" is not neccessary when you are not reffering to a specific office. 

3. 我的公司的名字是schroders. Well, this sounds like: take candy out of the box of blue, sometimes to avoid this sense of repeat, you can say:我公司的名称是schroders. or more simple: 我的公司是schroders. (howere, this sounds like you are running the company, but that's for another day.)

P.S. You are good enough to learn more and become better as long as you keep learning. 

 

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Im from china,would u mind me in skype,my skype is liuhaozi0774,my qq is 931551881.and we can learn each other.waiting for u!我是地地道道的中国人,我们互帮互助,共同进步,加我:skype liuhaozi0774,email:[email protected],qq:931551881
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August 5, 2011
Hi guys. The clothes were for my graduation from Cambridge University earlier this year. I was required to wear a long black gown, a hood with green lining, and a white bow-tie and bands. It's unusual, but I like it!
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