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Please help me correct this sentence if it's wrong

Please help me correct this sentence if it's wrong. Thanks.

空に神秘な緑の光りがあります。天使だったら、天国が僕を持って行って下さい。

For learning: Japanese
Base language: Japanese
Category: Other

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    I think this is correct♪

    空に神秘な緑の光りがあります。天使だったら、"僕を天国に"持って行って下さい。

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