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Can someone check my German essay please ?

The links are down here.

Part 1. http://www.italki.com/entry/323554

Part 2. http://www.italki.com/entry/323555

Part 3. http://www.italki.com/entry/323556

Thank you so much guys !! Danke schön !!

For learning: German
Base language: German
Category: Language

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