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How would you explain “went” in the context?

 

…now it’s becoming inverted, like you have bottomed out in your spirit but yet a deeper hole is being dug because everybody is so fucking happy to see you, the murderer, the fucking accomplice, the at-bare-minimum bearer of some fucking responsibility, and everyone wants to slap you on the back and you start to want to burn the whole goddamn country down, you want to burn every goddamn yellow ribbon in sight, and you can’t explain it but it’s just like, Fuck you, but then you signed up to go so it’s all your fault, really, because you went on purpose, so you are in the end doubly fucked, so why not just find a spot and curl up and die and let’s make it as painless as possible because you are a coward and, really, cowardice got you into this mess because you wanted to be a man and people made fun of you and pushed you around in the cafeteria and the hallways in high school because you liked to read books and poems sometimes and they’d call you fag

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and really deep down you know you went because you wanted to be a man and that’s never gonna happen now and you’re too much of a coward to be a man and get it over with so why not find a clean, dry place and wait it out with it hurting as little as possible and just wait to go to sleep and not wake up and fuck ’em all.

How would you explain “went” in “really deep down you know you went because you wanted to be a man”? Does it mean he went to join the army or went to kill himself?
Thanks!

For learning: English
Base language: English
Category: Language

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    Best Answer - Chosen by the Asker
    I believe 'went' in this case means to join the military - "went into the militiary" = joined or volunteered for the military.

    From what I can understand, the person being talked about went into the military to prove his courage, but instead has performed some act of cowardice. I would have to see more to be sure.

    From the context, it sounds like he meant "went to join the Army."

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