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is there any grammatical mistakes in the two sentences.

1.
Even if on my most excellent subject English, I had to spare no efforts to grasp the grammar points and the common phrases and read massively (PS: i am not sure whether the prep "on" here is used rightly or wrong. or is there any other mistakes)


2. When I was at the age of 16, I was sent away from my home as my excellent academic performance in middle school made me crack the top 3 Xinzhou Experimental School which situated in the northeast of the city
(PS, i am not sure whether use the top 3 or the top third..., and is there any problem in the sentence's expression, it is too chingish maybe ?)

For learning: English
Base language: Chinese (Mandarin)
Category: Language

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    Best Answer - Chosen by Voting
    Hello Della:

    [Use "in" rather than "on". Remove "if". It is superfluous / extra and unneeded, as the rest of your sentence is not a conditional.]

    "Even in my most excellent subject English, I had to spare no efforts to grasp the grammar points and the common phrases and read massively.

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    At the age of 16, I was sent away from my home as my excellent academic performance in middle school made me crack the top 3 Xinzhou Experimental School which was situated in the northeast of the city.


    (PS, i am not sure whether to use the top 3 or the top third..., and is there any problem in the sentence's expression, it is too ching.ish maybe ?)

    Generally, in written English, it is the general convention to write "third" rather than 3 or 3rd.
    The second sentence is a little bit chinglish, because it attempts to say in one sentence, what could be conveniently expressed in three simple sentences, as follows:

    (a) At the age of 16, I was sent away from my home, because of my excellent academic performance in middle school.

    (b) I qualified for the top three Xinzhou Experimental Schools.


    (c) The top three Xinzhou Experimental Schools were situated in the northeast of the city.


    .
    To write simple brief sentences is so much better. Eventually, with practice, one can develop a good estimation for when compound sentences can be created.

    Trying to create compound sentences from ideas which have no commonality can create confusion for the reader.

    So here, you can separate (a) Leaving Home (b) Qualifying for the Top Three Schools, and (c) informing your reader as to the location of the Top Three Schools.

    .--Warm Regards, Bruce

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