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Please correct my translation

Letter:

大卫:
David:

你好. 我现在是北京大学的学生
Hello. I am now a student at Beijing University.
北京很漂亮,北京人很好。
Beijing is very friendly, and Beijing people are very nice.
李月是我的朋友。我住在李月家。
Li Yue is my friend. I am living in Li Yue's home.
李月的爸爸是中学老师,妈妈是会计。
Li You's father is a middle-school teacher, and her mother is an accountant.
李月没有兄弟姊妹,他是独生女。
Li Yue has no brothers or sisters, she is an only daughter.
这个星期六我和李月不忙,我们一起去喝咖啡,吃饺子。
This Saturday, Li Yue and I weren't busy, so together we drank coffee and ate dumplings.
你什么时候来中国?
When will you come to China?
请打电话。
Please phone me.
我的中国手机号码是 13813851888
My Chinese mobile phone number is 13813851888.
祝:学习好
I hope your studies go well.
好朋友:玛丽
Your good friend, Mary
二零一三年六月三日
3rd June, 2013

For learning: Chinese (Mandarin)
Base language: Chinese (Mandarin)
Category: Language

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    in fact,we use 李月家more frequently than 李月的家in this sentence . Please phone me.请给我打电话 or 请打电话给我 they‘re the same. I hope your studies go well. 祝:学业顺利 will be more formal and suitable in a letter Your good friend, Mary 中文信件里,几乎不用“Your good friend” just writing down the name is ok 2013年6月3日,this format is more common

    北京 很 漂亮,北京人很好。 =/= Beijing is very friendly
    friendly = 友好

    李月 家 => 李月 的 家

    他 是 独生女 =/= 他 是 独生女
    => 她 是

    I try to translate, please find the following:

    David, How are you doing?

    I am a student in Beijing University. Beijing is very beautiful and the people are friendly.

    Li Yue is my friend, I am living at her home. Her dad is a teacher in high-school, and mom is an accountant. She is only daughter without brother and sister.

    If Li Yue and I were not busy on this Saturday, we are going to have coffee and dumpling together.

    When are you coming to China? Please call me, my local number is 13813851888.

    Hope you study well.

    Your good friend
    Mary
    3 June, 2013

     

    北京很漂亮Beijing is very beautiful~~~

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