Sergey
Not good English I am writing a scientific paper and reviewer asked me to rephrase some sentences, because “it is not good English”. I rephrased it and would ask you take a look at it:"...Later, a local outbreak of Issyk-Kul fever occurred in Qumsangir district (Khalton Province, Tajikistan) in 1982. During outbreak 22 cases were registered. For 17 patients increasing of antibody titers (from 1:8-1:16 to 1:32-1:256) were shown (2, 3). The patients with confirmed increasing antibody titers were registered 1 in March, 2 in April, 1 in May, 4 in June, 4 in July and 5 in August of 1982." Is it good?
Sep 20, 2014 5:21 PM
Answers · 3
1
You have studied papers written by British and American scientists. Just follow their writing style and the standard format required by the official body that is examining your work.
September 20, 2014
"Later, in 1982, a local outbreak of Issyk-Kul fever occurred in Qumsangir district (Khalton Province, Tajikistan). During the outbreak, 22 cases were registered. For 17 patients, antibody titers increased (from 1:8-1:16 to 1:32-1:256) (2, 3). The patients with confirmed increased antibody titers were registered: one in March, two in April, one in May, four in June, four in July and five in August of 1982." Do you really need "confirmed"? If not, delete it. It's customary to write whole numbers below 10 in words. Are the 17 cases a subset of the 22 cases? If so, you could shorten this some more by saying: "Later, in 1982, a local outbreak of Issyk-Kul fever occurred in Qumsangir district (Khalton Province, Tajikistan). During the outbreak, 22 cases were registered. These included 17 patients whose antibody titers increased (from 1:8-1:16 to 1:32-1:256) (2, 3), registered in March (one), April (two), May (one), June (four), July (four) and August (five)."
September 20, 2014
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