When do you switch from 'vous' to 'tu'? I know that vous is the polite form and is used to address superiors, older people, people you have just met etc. But when speaking with someone who is around

Soyung

When do you switch from 'vous' to 'tu'? I know that vous is the polite form and is used to address superiors, older people, people you have just met etc. But when speaking with someone who is around the same age and station as you, when do you switch from vous to tu? Must there be a verbal acknowledgement i.e. 'on peut tutoyer', or can it be switched seamlessly within conversation once you have known someone long enough? And if so, how long is 'long enough'? How would I tell someone much older than myself to use 'tu' with me, even though I will continue to address them as 'vous'? Also - is it rude to use 'tu' right away with someone you've just met, if they are around the same age as you? Or does it denote a casualness (and therefore more approachability etc)?

Jan 21, 2015 2:53 AM

Answers · 8

If you have started with "vous" and no one says "you can say tu", you are kind of stuck with "vous", no amount of time will make it right to switch! Unless you ask "can I say tu?" of if you notice they use "tu" with you. I prefer to say "tu" right away with people my age and slightly older (as "vous" can make one feel old and therefore sound a bit offensive). It's "casual", but also seen as "being friendly". If you want to continue to say "vous" but you want that person to say "tu" to you, say "VOUS pouvez me dire TU" or "vous pouvez me tutoyer" (see the dual politeness in the same sentence?) PS "on peut SE tutoyer ?" (se = each other)

January 21, 2015

Maybe this would help: I remember an occasion when a French colleague of my husband's came to our house for dinner. As colleagues, he and my husband were on 'tu' terms. But he had never met me before, and he addressed me politely as 'vous'. Then, at some point during the meal, when we had relaxed, got to know each other and had a glass or two of wine - between the main course and dessert - he switched to 'tu'. This switch seemed natural to me. It might have seemed over-familiar to have begun the evening calling me 'tu', but, as we were meeting on social basis, it might have seemed unfriendly to have called me 'vous' throughout the evening. Could I ask any native French speakers if that's what normally happens in such a situation?

January 22, 2015

In all cases, tu = informal and vous = formal. It doesnt matter if you are the same age, respect is still to be shown. However, students of the same class / peers usually just use the 'tu' form naturally among themselves. But when an age difference is obvious, this may not be the case- however its dependent on the individual etc. For me, i most times use the 'tu'... its not ideal...but i have never been told that i offended anyone. But, there was this once when someone told me to use the 'tu' with him. tu peux utiliser le tutoyer avec moi (this is one way to say it)

January 21, 2015

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