Please help me make this sentence sound right Hello! Today I had an argument with my boss about this text. It is a letter to the employees in our company from HR Deparment. I was supposed to translat

Bionika

Please help me make this sentence sound right Hello! Today I had an argument with my boss about this text. It is a letter to the employees in our company from HR Deparment. I was supposed to translate it from Russian into English and she said I had made a few mistakes. I disagree and I'd like to listen to your opinions, dear native speakers. In accordance with the requirements of the Russian legislation, Rules of Internal Labor Order were amended. Starting from March 1st, 2015 the advance payment will be taking place on the 21st of each month (instead of 20th). Employees making recurring payments and transactions are recommended to take into consideration this information. Her corrections: 1. in accordance with the requirements of Russian legislation (to omit "the", and she is probably right) 2. the advance payment wil take place on the 21st monthly (instead of 20th) So, who is right in this situation? And in general does this text make sence? Does it sound good?

Jan 30, 2015 8:25 AM

Answers · 10

For the first one your boss would be right, but for the second I would go with your sentence. Your boss's sentence would still make sense but it is more confusing than yours.

January 30, 2015

1. omit the "the" 2. the advance payment will take place on the 21st of each month (instead of 20th) Also, regarding the first sentence, it might be clearer to reverse the sentence structure: "The Rules of Internal Labor Order have been amended in accordance with the requirements of Russian legislation."

January 30, 2015

"In accordance with the requirements of Russian legislation, the Rules of Internal Labor Order have been amended." I agree the first "the" needed removal - we don't know which specific rule (which "the" implies). However, "the Rules..." are known: the rules of the company. "Starting from March 1st 2015, advance payments will take place on the 21st of each month (instead of the 20th)." Since it's on a regular basis, use "advance payments" in general and just simple future form. "Will be taking place" sounds like one specific date, not a change to the schedule. I don't agree with the change to "monthly" - it sounds confusing ("monthly what?"). "Employees making recurring payments and transactions are recommended to take this information into consideration." Just the order of phrases needed fixing. Apart from those quibbles, your translation still makes sense - it's actually quite good.

January 30, 2015

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