2. "riamh" doesn't go well here. You can just leave it out, or else replace it with something like "cheana".
4. "céard" with fada.
9. "...a thóg sé ar Bhrian..." séimhiú after "ar"; "sé" refers to "an leabhar sin a léamh inné".
13. "cén cineál/sórt leabhair" you need the genitive after "cineál" or "sórt".
14. "cén leabhar ar mhaith le Brian..."
Seachas sin, tá gach rud eile ceart.