I can explain by examples. With 了：it can express complaint or compliment. 1.The house stinks so much! 房子太味儿了（太臭了）！ It's obviously a complaint. 2. Her voice is so lovely~ 她的声音太好听了～ And it's an obvious compliment. 3. The house is so/too big. 房子太大了！ big is a neutral word. How can we know it express what? In this case, it express complaint, negative comment. Here it means excessive. If you want a compliment,we say 房子真大! Same as 太小了，太高了 《— negative without了：I think in most cases it also express complaint. I often hear it from adults. but they are mainly the same. I think it's the tone.if you are a Chinese, you don't add 了,we can also read your complaint by your tone. But you better add 了 to emphAsize if you want to make sure them know you are not okay with something. -您对我们的房子还满意吗？ -嗯，总体说还行，就是厨房…嗯…太大。 （maybe it's an indirect way of complaint? To be polite? It is just my guess.)

As a Chinese teacher and native speaker, I want to tell you that they are the same. I cannot think of the situation that we could only use this one but not the other. Only pay attention that 太好了tàihǎole is a fixed phrase which means 'that's great'. Here we cannot say 太好 tàihǎo.

краще завжди вживати 太...了.... якщо можна, напишіть речення у якому 太було вжито без 了

thank you, Kin!