Help correct my short story translation Hello everyone! I'm a new iTalki user learning Chinese. I have translated a children's short story from a book "365 Bed Time Stories", but would like some feed

Aaron

Help correct my short story translation Hello everyone! I'm a new iTalki user learning Chinese. I have translated a children's short story from a book "365 Bed Time Stories", but would like some feedback on my translations. I don't think my translation skills are very good yet! The original story can be seen here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/8kj4ri91rs7h7gi/Story.jpg?dl=1 My translation is as follows; Title: New Year Baby Original Work by Bāo Lěi Pictures by Zhāng Chē 1: Obviously, it is very good to be gazing out the window 2: New Year Baby riding the red carp has come 3: Happy New Year! 4: Carp spits out of his mouth a New Year's Present 5: New Year Baby has flown away 6: Obviously, it is very good to fly out the window 7: They are riding a white cloud to chase after New Year Baby 8: They are at the white cloud and have fallen asleep 9: They woke up to find they were in bed 10: They under their pillow then discovered a wrapped present 11: It turns out, the present was the first part of "365 Bed Time Stories"Hi everyone! I'm so sorry - I didn't realise that link wouldn't work for friends in China. I couldn't see how to add a picture directly to my post. Please try this link instead: http://clsnoswell.com/6d298949-12d5-435d-a41f-00e3024b1eeb/Story.jpg Thank you!

Aug 4, 2015 11:35 AM

Answers · 11

＊"明明"&"佳佳"are both people's names. 1: Obviously, it is very good to be gazing out the window →"Mingming and Jiajia are gazing out the window." 6: Obviously, it is very good to fly out the window → "Mingming and Jiajia fly out the window,too." ＊(1)"他们在枕头下发现"means "they discovered something which is under their pillow"instead"they under their pillow". (2)"包"is a quantifier of the present. 10: They under their pillow then discovered a wrapped present →They discovered the present under their pillow. (I use "the present" because this present is the one be gaved by New Year Baby) ＊"部"is a quantifier of the book. 11: It turns out, the present was the "365 Bed Time Stories"

August 4, 2015

※ Pictures by Zhāng Jūn(you mixed 车(chē) with 军(Jūn)). ※ "明明" and "佳佳" are the two children's names, named "Mingming" and "Jiajia" respectively. ※ Pay attention to the verb's tense. Once, "They are riding a white cloud to chase after New Year Baby", and then, "They woke up to find they were in bed". ※ “(一)包” and "一部" are both quantifier which modify the nouns behind them, "礼物" and “365夜故事” respectively. “一包” means "a pack of things"; “一部” here means "a book named something" or "a book of the ...." 10. They discovered that pack of present under their pillow. 11. It turned out that the present was a book of the "365 Bed Time Stories".

August 5, 2015