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can you help me to correct the translation from chinese joke to english?thanks for sharing!

hi,it's a chinese joke about the mature man.i try to translate it in english.if you know the chinese,can you help me to correct it in right english,not chinglish?thanks!
不成熟与成熟男人的区别the difference between a mature man and an immature man.


1,不成熟的男人总是在意女人的姿色;成熟的男人则很会看老婆的脸色。 the immature man care the woman's good look.but the mature one oberserve his wife's expression.

2, 不成熟的男人总是在太太面前轻许承诺;成熟男人则会在太太面前甜言蜜语。 the immatuer one like to promise easily for his wife.but another will had the good and sweet words.

3,不成熟的男人和太太一起上街时,总是捂紧自己的腰包,那能捂的住吗?而成熟的男人却是闭紧自己的眼睛,正所谓眼不见心不烦。 immature one would save his money when he will go shopping with wife.can you save your money?but another kind closes his eyes.it's called that what the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over.

4,发了奖金以后,不成熟男人会将钱悄悄塞进衣兜里,一旦被老婆发现就会死得很惨;成熟的男人则用老婆的名字存在银行里,不被发现当然是好事,万一不小心被发现也不是什么坏事,老婆一定会爱死你。 when the immature put his bonus on his pocket.if his wife finds out,this man must be in poor situation.but the another will open an account on behalf of his wife,if not found,it's a good thing.in case that it's known.his wife will love him deeply.


5,不成熟的男人会满脸笑容陪老婆逛商场;成熟的男人只有和老婆一起逛菜市的时候才会精神百倍。 the immature smile big to company his wife to shop.but the another shape up or feel good when he accompnay his wife in food and drugstore.

6,不成熟的男人一和美女有了眼神的碰撞就会害羞得满脸通红;成熟的男人总会把美女逗得满脸通红。 the immature will be shy and blush to meet a beauty.but the another will make the beauty happy and the girl looks like as red as a beetroot!

7,不成熟的男人给太太写完检讨就会把它们全部扔进垃圾桶;成熟的男人则会把老婆检验合格的检讨书寄到杂志社。 the immature will discard the review or self-criticism,but the another will post his self-criticism into the magazine when his wife checks it out.

8,不成熟的男人会在任何人面前酗酒,包括老婆,一不小心就酒后吐真言,其结局悲惨不堪;成熟的男人无论如何也不会在太太面前喝太多的酒,这样可以守口如瓶,心中的秘密永远不会见光。 the immature can drink alcohol more anywhere,including his wife is in.if he will blurt out the truth.the result is terrible.but whatever the another doesn't drink too much.it's the best way to shut

For learning: English
Base language: Chinese (Mandarin)
Category: WK087

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    觉得太直译了,我留个名慢慢看,实在是太长了

    The differences between an immature man {IM} and a mature man {MM} are:
    1. IM watches a woman's body, but MM watches his wife's face.
    2. IM pleases his wife with empty promises, but MM pleases his wife with enlightening words.
    3. IM goes out with his wife with his wallet shut, but to no avail; but MM goes out with his wife with his eyes shut, see no evil and worry about no evil.
    4 when IM gets his bonus, he quietly puts it in his pocket. and when his wife finds out she will crash him to death. but MM will put it in a bank deposit account, if his wife can't find out it is fine, if his wife finds out she will love him to death.
    5. IM smiles only if he goes shopping with his wife, but MM smiles even if he goes buy grocery with his wife.
    6 IM blushes when he bumps into beautiful girls, MM makes girls blushed with red bumps.
    7. IM puts his confessions to his wife into the garbage can, but MM puts his wife's "report with flying colours" in the mail to magazine publishers.
    8. When IM is intoxicated with alcohol he spills his guts to anybody, including his wife, with dire consequences, but MM is abstinent from alcohol before his wife and won't spill a word, with secrets closed to his heart.

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