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"If you don't mind me asking..." vs. "If you don't mind my asking..."

Are both acceptable and exactly the same? What do you say?

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Thanks guys!

For learning: English
Base language: English
Category: WK087

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    How about " Would you mind if I ask..."

     

    Yes, you can read them as the same.

    "If you don't mind my asking" is what I prefer, it's slightly less personal than "if you don't mind me asking", and therefore less invasive.


    1) Forget the "me" or "my" .... no one will notice or care - it's petty.

    2) >>> HOW YOU ASK (your tone of voice) is more important than the words! Think more about how you come across / the feeling you send --- are you smiling when you ask (friendly) or laughing at the person (suspicious / critical of what they are doing). Be situation appropriate!

    A. However - "My" is generally more polite.
    If your voice is soft and kind, then it would only mean that you are being
    polite and don't want to interrupt someone with a question if they are busy.

    Caring innocent ~ Friendly ~ Curiosity
    While smiling : "If you don't mind my asking, how old is your baby?"

    B. "Me" is more casual - less polite"
    If you ask with more laughing/disgust than curiosity in your voice
    then you are communicating you think what the person is doing /
    behavior or thing you are asking about is scary/crazy or doesn't make
    any sense.

    Critical ~ Shocked ~ Disgusted or Surprised:
    While looking shocked/stressed:
    "If you don't mind me asking, why are you driving
    on the wrong side of the road?!
    While asking laughing:
    "If you don't mind me asking, are you going to wear
    THAT tie to the restaurant?!"

    3) Most say > "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" or simply
    "Excuse me" < theseworks for any situation.

    ------------- My / Me : no one is going to notice much (USA). Unless you're uh,
    Denis.
    (wink) just kidding Denis

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