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I know two jokes about a turtle; do you know any jokes about turtles?


All welcome, no prizes given. Let's have some fun with English!

For learning: English
Base language: English
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    I know a cruel but funny one :

    Over and over again, a little baby turtle jumps out of a tall tree and fall to the ground, flailing his limbs around. Two birds were watching and the female bird says to the male bird...

    "Honey, I think it's time to tell our baby he's adopted."

    =D =D =D =D =D

    mind sharing a Filipino joke about turtle?

    here it goes:

    "in the Philippines, it's been said that there is a particular animal species that transforms to another form of animal in an instant.

    news caster: a certain Philippine Rabbit turns turtle!
    foreigner (who happened to be listening to the radio): what???"

    the truth is, "Philippine Rabbit" is a well known bus company and that the news is portraying that the bus turned upside down.

    here's another one.

    "It's been said that the turtles were already independent the time they were born... why???.. because they already have and live in their own house."


    Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide to go on a picnic. So, Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches. The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take 10 whole days to get there.

    By the time they do arrive, everyone's whipped. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes out the sodas and says, "Alright, Steve, gimme the bottle opener"

    "I didn't bring the bottle opener," Steve says. "I thought you packed it." Joe gets worried. He turns to Poncho. "Poncho, do you have the bottle opener?"

    Naturally, Poncho doesn't have it, so the turtles are stuck ten miles away from home without soda.

    Joe & Steve beg Poncho to turn back home and retrieve it, but Poncho flatly refuses, knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he gets back.

    Somehow, after about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Poncho to go, swearing on their great-grand turtles' graves that they won't touch the food.

    So, Poncho sets off down the road, slow and steadily. Twenty days pass, but no Poncho. Joe and Steve are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is a promise. Another day passes, and still no Poncho, but a promise is a promise.

    After three more days pass without Poncho in sight, Steve starts getting restless."I NEED FOOD!" he says with a hint of dementia in his voice.

    "NO!" Joe retorts. "We promised." Five more days pass. Joe realizes that Poncho probably skipped out to the Burger King down the road, so the two turtles weakly lift the lid ,get a sandwich, and open their mouths to eat. But then, right at that instant, Poncho pops out behind a rock, and says, "Just for that, I'm not going."

    =P ciao!

    Those stories are really funny.haha...Here is another one.

    One day, the zoo held a meeting which needed all animals to attend. An earthworm was crawling quite slowly, however, with his great effort. Later, a turtle came by with a snail on his back. Seeing the earthworm, the snail shouted to earthworm:"Hey buddy, come on. This guy runs too fast"

    There is another story about turtle. It's the race between tortoise and rabbit. I believe you have heard the first race. However, they raced many times after the first race because the rabbit did not acknowledge the failure. But the stories are too long. I'm not going to tell here.

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