Today I've convinced myself it's ok to give up. Don't take risks. Stick with the status quo, no drama, now is just, not the time. But my reasons aren't reasons they're excuses. All I'm doing is hiding from the truth, and the truth is that I'm scared Stefan. I'm scared that if I let myself be happy for even one moment, that the world is going to come crashing down and I don't know if I can survive that.