Ingrid
exercise: https://www.ielts-exam.net/academic_writing_samples_task_1/1119/ The bar chart shows the percentage of five types of industry in the Brazilian economy. It contains data for finance, food processing, manufacturing, tourism and oil, coal and gas industries from the years of 2009 and 2019 with a prospective for 2029. It is possible to notice that the finance industry was, since the begining, the most proeminent one. In addition, it is considerably growing year by year. The same cannot be said about manufacturing since it saw a significantly decrease between 2009 and 2019, and a drastically one is expected for 2029. About the food processing and oil, coal and gas industries, it is clear that an increase was noted in 2019. However, both of them are expected to, in 2029, fall back to the previous amount. Meanwhile, athough the tourism sector slightly shrunk in 2019, prospections reveal it will remain stable.
Feb 18, 2021 12:46 PM
Corrections · 1
1
exercise: https://www.ielts-exam.net/academic_writing_samples_task_1/1119/ The bar chart shows the percentage of five types of industry in the Brazilian economy. It contains data for finance, food processing, manufacturing, tourism and the oil, coal and gas industries in the years 2009 and 2019 with a projection for 2029. It can be seen that the finance industry was, since the begining, the most prominent one. In addition, it is growing considerably year by year. The same cannot be said about manufacturing since it saw a significant decrease between 2009 and 2019, and a drastic one is expected for 2029. About the food processing and oil, coal and gas industries, it is clear that an increase was noted in 2019. However, both of them are expected to fall back to the previous amount in 2029. Meanwhile, athough the tourism sector slightly shrunk in 2019, it is forecast to remain stable.
Some of the writing here was good, but for Task 1: You MUST include an overview. Look at the 'overall' paragraph in the model answer for this question. (actually that paragraph has a mistake!) When writing the body paragraphs you MUST include figures from the bar chart, pie chart, graph etc. The model answers from the website you are using are pretty good but they do have mistakes.
February 18, 2021
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!