You need to put spaces after commas and full stops in English. You need to make English "look" like Chiense does. For example

他对我说：“你这个臭丫头”！我回答他，说：“你为啥想侮辱我呢？我什么地方触犯了你呢？”。他什么话也没说，就走了。 Can you see where there are "gaps" in the Chinese? Even though you don't use spaces because the formatting does it for you. You need to put the spaces in these places in English, otherwise it looks very wrong. 

As for the British accents, the "standard" British accent, which is sometimes called "received pronunciation" is that from the south of English. Newsreaders speak clearly if you want to try to imitate them, but I find them pretty boring to listen to. If you want to listen to newsreaders, then I'd recommend people like Fiona Bruce, George Alagiah, Huw Edwards, Bill Turnbull or Charlie Stayt. You might want to pick a woman though, since you are female yourself. 

A personal favourite person of mine is Steven Fry. He is a TV presenter and has recorded numerous audiobooks. His most famous audiobook recordings are the recordings of the Harry Potter books. These are absolutely excellent if you can get hold of them. (I'd also recommend reading them, reading is very important). He has also recorded his own autobiographies (he wrote his autobiography in parts). 

Hope this helps

Laurence

Hi Wendy, I think you should listen to Luke's English Podcast (free of charge, but if you want you can donate)). He's an english teacher and he speaks with very nice london accent. It's easy to understand him and you'll be more aware of important british pronuncation features. You can try to imitate him if you want to speak london accent

Hope it's useful

Gotcha.Your advice sounds gorgeous!But the fact is that I don't know many British people.Besides,the diffeent zones make it harder.I will try that web.Thanks,Mr Peachey.

Stop watching TV series and start talking to someone!

The reality is, you get your accent from the people you speak to. You need feedback from a native (UK) speaker or an advanced speaker. You can also use the teacher/tutors here to refine your accent if you wish.

At the very least, you can record your voice with Vocaroo.com or Clyp.it (thanks Leyla!). Then you can post the link here, and ask for feedback. Both sites are free, and you don't need an account.

There is another actress called Jing Lusi who would be a good accent to copy.