Community Tutor
Some American English Jokes Surrounding Greetings

Some of my foreign friends asked me what American jokes there are for when someone greets you. So here are a few. Just remember that some of these can be really rude, but then again, they can be so funny too. :)


What's up?


1. The sky, DUH! (It means the sky is up above us.)


2. teen pregnancy (It means that teen pregnancy is increasing / "going up" every day.)


3. the price of Apple's stock on Wall Street. (It means the cost of their stock is going up / increasing.)


4. Your time! Goodbye! (It means the person's time to speak with you is up/over. So rude but so funny at the same time, especially if you put your hand up. Hehehehe)


5. (The person points and looks up) The ceiling. DUH!


What time is it?


1. Time for you to get a watch.


2. Time for you to get a life.


3. Time for you to lose some weight.


How's It Going:


1. Like Justin Bieber at the Music Awards, not good at all.


2. Like a one-legged man in a race, not good at all.


3. (morbid humor) Not well. Having trouble finding where to hide the body.


What's going on?


1. Definitely not clothing. (It means the person will not be putting on any clothing and possibly might be naked right now. Here "going on" describes the action of putting an article of clothing on.)

Jun 30, 2014 9:25 PM
Comments · 5

Ha ha ha!


None of these at a job interview! ... but great fun with friends..... except... don't use "the time for you to lose weight" one with an American woman or you might get a lickin', get pummeled. Ok Mr. Hip, Shawn my man, how to you say get beat up with a word that isn't ancient? 


Thanks for helping to keep me up to date! 

July 1, 2014

You might get your ass "whomped" if tell an American woman it is time to lose some weight. So true and so funny, Dorthy. Hahahaha! :)



July 1, 2014

Hahahaha Oh man, Gabriel. They might think you are a freak though if they don't have a morbid sense of humor too. I mean, I find it funny but a lot of people are so uptight. Hehehehe :)

July 1, 2014

Cool! That's really funny.


My personal favorite is "3. (morbid humor) Not well. Having trouble finding where to hide the body." I'll use it next time a friend ask me how's it going. lol

July 1, 2014

Jjaja most of them are the same in Spanish but I will keep some of those in mind!! Thanks man ahha..

June 30, 2014
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Dutch, English, French, Gaelic (Irish), Indonesian, Italian, Japanese, Spanish
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