Hahaha a little harsh but you're entitled to your opinion! I made some small edits to make it flow more colloquially but maintain your original meaning, and to limit repeating the same words over and over. In technically correct formal English, you would avoid using "you" and instead use "one." For example, "...it's necessary if one needs to go somewhere...". But this is awkward and no one talks that way, except perhaps a very posh Brit.