Robson Leonel Branco
Does this phrase sounds good to you as a native? You don't find a great love on avenues On street corners, or in the loneliness of a bar...
10 nov. 2024 11:08
Réponses · 6
2
Yes. It’s quite beautiful actually
10 novembre 2024
1
I agree with Simon, very beautiful.
11 novembre 2024
I would rather change" love" to Lover to make it distinct from the general term love.
11 novembre 2024
Without context, it sounds non-native, meaningless, and pretentious. It’s just a list of unconnected locations where you don’t find ‘a great love’, whatever that is. As part of something bigger, however, it could make sense.
11 novembre 2024
Yes, it does. I would change the word order so as to place more emphasis on the most important idea, which is "a great love". The way you have it worded, too much importance is placed on the list "avenues, street corners, a bar" and on "you don't find". I would also get "you" out of it completely and use passive voice instead. Passive voice emphasizes the lack of an actor, so also your loneliness. To add further emphasis, you can capitalize "great love", thereby treating it as if it were a proper noun and heightening its importance. "A Great Love is nowhere to be found on avenues ..."
11 novembre 2024
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