Formal letter practice1
This is my writing practice for the English test, IELTS. (I'm going to take the test soon)
It would be really great if someone can correct my writing. Of course, I'm happy to correct some Japanese writing in return. Thanks!!
You rent a house through an agency, the heating system has stopped working. You phoned the agency a week ago but it has still not been repaired.
Write a letter to the agency. In your letter,
- introduce yourself
- explain the situation
- say what action you would like the agency to take.
_____(From here, my writing)_____
Dear John,
I am writing in regards to the house in Notting Hill that I rented from your service on 22nd June, 2012. I am grateful for finding a nice place to live; however, there is a problem with this propery's heating system.
The day before yesterday, the heating system suddenly stopped functioning. When I pull the on switch, there seems to be no response. I have inspected and troubleshooted to the best of my abilities, but I cannot find a solution. There is no other problem with the home except this heating system. (Note: Honestly, you don't have to say that there's no other problem; Also, it's best to describe what EXACTLY is wrong. Just saying "it doesn't work" doesn't give much idea to what could be the problem).
I am requesting that you contact the company responsibile for fixing the heating system as soon as possible. It is imperative that the matter be resolved soon, because it is still very cold in both the morning and evening at this time of the year, thus making it quite uncomfortable in our home.
Thank you for your time. I await your reply.
Please contact me at (999)999-9999. (Always leave a phone number)
Yours sincerely,
Tomato
___
(157 words in total)
Tomato-san
Your letter was pretty good and it had only very few mistakes; however, I opted to try and get it a lot more coherent is all.
When describing the problem, you have to be more thorough other than it doesn't work. You should always describe what EXACTLY happens. In this case, it's just a sample, but you can invent a problem. :)
I'm sorry if I destroyed your letter - I'm a college instructor for composition so I tend to be like that. ^^;;
You are an advanced high student and I've got a lot of resources to helping you write your essays. Let me know if you would like some.
Formal letter practice1
This is my writing practice for the English test, IELTS. (I'm going to take the test soon)
It would be really great if someone can correct my writing. Of course, I'm happy to correct some Japanese writing in return. Thanks!!
You rent a house through an agency, the heating system has stopped working. You phoned the agency a week ago but it has still not been repaired.
Write a letter to the agency. In your letter,
- introduce yourself
- explain the situation
- say what action you would like the agency to take.
_____(From here, my writing)_____
Dear John,
I am writing in connection with the house that I started to rent through your service last month, 22nd June, 2012 in Notting Hill. I am grateful for finding a nice place to live; however, I happened to have a problem concerning the heating system of the property.
The day before yesterday, the heating system suddenly stopped functioning. It does not respond completely to turning on the switch. There is no other problems other than that besides this in the house so seemingly presumably only the problem in the heating system will be easy to locate. (Best I could come up with; I wasn't really sure what you meant.)has been in out of shape.
I would appreciate it if you would contact the company that can repair the heating unit of the house. It is still very cold in both the morning and evening at this time of the year, and all of us are hoping that it will be fixed/repaired(repaired is more formal) as soon as possible.
Thank you for your time. I am waiting for your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Tomato
___
(157 words in total)
Good stuff Tomato; you are without doubt well prepared for the test. I would add to the letter a little bit about the fact that you actually phoned them a week ago and you still haven't got a response!
