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telli
A Typhoon came When a typhoon came to my city last summer, the sky clouded over and the wind blew strongly. The sky turned suddenly from day into night. It rained cats and dogs, many windows broke and many trees fell. People hurried home and stayed in. There were so much water in the streets and many people parked their cars on the bridges. After the typhoon, the city was mess!

Corrections · 1

2

A Typhoon came (1)

When a typhoon came to struck my city last summer (2), the sky clouded over and the wind blew strongly. The sky turned suddenly from day into night. It rained cats and dogs, many windows broke and many trees fell. People hurried home and stayed in. There were was so much water in the streets and that many people parked their cars on the bridges (3)
After the typhoon, the city was a mess (4)!

 

(1) Titles can be difficult to make, but sometimes simpler is better. Here, maybe "A Typhoon," or, "The Typhoon" works well, but "A Typhoon Came" sounds a bit strange. In English, usually the verbs "to hit" or "to strike" are used for weather events; using "to come" is not incorrect, but sounds a bit like the English version of 颱風來了.

 

(2) See #1 above.

 

(3) The noun "water" is a non-countable noun (不可數名詞), so we use "was" instead of "were" Replacing "and" with "that" makes it clear that there is a cause and effect. In other words, the reason so many people parked their cars on the bridges was because there was so much water in the streets.

 

(4) In English, "to be a mess" is a set usage, so we need to add the "a." 

 

Telli, this is an excellent short narrative! Great job in using idomatic expressions, such as "raining cats and dogs," and "the city was a mess." As you can see, it only needed a few small corrections. Next time, maybe you can try combining some of the shorter sentences into longer ones. A variety of short and long sentences can really make your writing shine!

 

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