Yesterday we talked with my friends about jealousy. And now I want to give my personal opinion.
I think jealousy is a serious psychological problem. This is not about love absolutely. Some people can say that jealousy is a good sign of love. If you appreciate your love partner you will be jealous. I say NO. I will not be telling here what is love and what is the good signs of love. This is not the purpose of this topic.
And so, about jealousy. I think there are some reasons why people are jealous. The first one is the lack of self confidence. Maybe you were dumped and this fact impressed you very hard. Maybe you is not self confident by nature.
The next main reason why you are jealous because of your parents were divorced when you were a child. A man abandons his family because of bad relationships with his wife. But a child psychology makes the child think that it happened because of him. He feels like betrayed. It depresses him so much that he can not trust anybody for all his life. He thinks that if his father could do this with him than anybody can.
So, what do you think?
So many people want to be happy. For most of us happiness is the goal of our life.
But the problem is we don't know what is to be happy. And we think that we should get something that would give us a big opportunity to get happiness. But, what is the thing that could help? Maybe money? Why not. Money is a good thing to resolve all of your issues. With money you can feel yourself an influential person. You can have everything, maybe except a few things such as to be alive forever, for example. A human logic makes us decide to earn as much money as we can. And we reasonably do it making sure we would be happy at the end.
It's a big paradox but rich people is as unhappy as poor ones. The number of suicides among reach people have a very high level that make me think, money is not a decision.
But what else? Maybe love? Why not, love is a good thing, sex is a good thing. Then why Romeo and Juliet were unhappy? Maybe because they couldn't be together. But then why so many married couples are not happy?
What about a power? Maybe you should have got a power to be happy? I would agree if I didn't know history.
The thing is happiness isn't something out of you that you can get. It's the quality of your personality.
You need nothing to be happy. You just can be happy.
People argue much about the truth. Everyone thinks that his opinion is the only right one.
Take any situation where more than one person took part and you will hear as many opinions as were the number of participants.
It's very strange, isn't it, when we have many points of view for the same event? It's strange when people saw the same, but tell different.
The reason is our world views. That's hard decoding system for every event creating personal image. This system consists of a sort of filters made by our personal experience, culture, accidents, impressions, physical and psychological qualities. That's why looking at the same we see different.
Than what is the truth? Who is more right?
To take a good answer, let's use some allegory. Imagine that the objective world is a, for example, cow. And people cannot see the whole cow because of the screen between people and the cow. But screen is not solid, it has small holes through which people can see the parts of the cow. Holes are personal, everyone can use only his hole. And they are looking at the cow through their personal holes.
What are they looking at? At the same -the cow. And what do they see? Different. Ask them:"what is the word (truth)?" And you will hear:
- the world is an eye
- No! You are not right! The world is a leg
- Are you crasy both?! The world is an ass!
They will start to argue. Then will start a wars for the truth. People will be killing others, being sure that their version is the truth.
But if people would stop fighting and try to here each other they could understand other point of view. They could sum every part of that pazzle to a whole objective image. Then they would understand that the world is not an eye or a leg. They would realize that the world is a cow. They would know the truth.
And what do you need for that? Not much. You should learn to hear others. You should appreciate other point of view, other experience.
Today we talk about positive thinking. Why people interpret most events as bad events? Most people undestand that every event has two sides - bad and good, but why we prefer bad? Does anybody nows?
For example, somebody has lost his job. Is it bad or good? Neither bad nor good. Depends on the way we look at that. Depends on our choice. We could be thinking: "Wow! Its great! I have lost my job! Good! That gives me an excellent chance to change my life! To see my mistakes and improve my personality. I have a chance to find something more excellent for myself. I have some time to have a rest."
But not. Most of us would be thinking:"Oh my god! I have lost my job! That's end! I'm dead! I wil never find an other job! Life is crap! My wife is going to divorce me...maybe. I so sad! What shall I do? I'm gonna kill myself. Oh god! For what?!"
Why humanes have such nature of thinking? What is the reason for this? How does the second (negative way) help us? I have no idea. What if we is pessimistic, would it give us more chances to resolve issues? NO. Conversely it will worsen the situation.
Definitely, the situation would be more better if we have positive thinking. It gives us power, makes our looking better, improve our creativity.
So, why we have an other nature?
