Hello! Your sentence is grammatically correct, and the overall structure seems fine. However, there are a few points you may want to consider for further improvement: Clarity: The sentence could be more precise and clear. Specify what you mean by "far better in the long term." Are you referring to improved academic performance, enhanced critical thinking, better career prospects, or any other specific benefits? Support: It's important to support your claim with relevant reasons or evidence. Why do you believe that an education system with a wide range of subjects is better in the long term? Provide examples, statistics, or studies to back up your statement. Counterarguments: In academic writing like IELTS Task 2, it's helpful to address potential counterarguments. Consider acknowledging and refuting alternative perspectives to strengthen your stance. Here's a revised version of your sentence with these considerations in mind: "The education system that mandates students to study a diverse range of subjects throughout their years at school can yield significant benefits in the long term, such as fostering well-rounded individuals with improved critical thinking skills, better adaptability in a rapidly changing job market, and a deeper appreciation for various fields of knowledge. Despite some potential drawbacks, the advantages of this holistic approach outweigh the drawbacks." Remember, the key to a successful IELTS Writing Task 2 response is clear communication, supported arguments, and a well-structured essay. Good luck with your writing! If you have any other questions or need further assistance, feel free to ask.