Hi everyone,

Is it a good introduction of a Five paragraph essay ?

Have you ever feel you have a complete life, and you have a wonderful lifestyle.However, someone suddenly come in your life and change everything ? summer in 2018 I was in France .I met someone his name is Joy and he was just like his name . The first meeting was in Shakespeare library when we talked about Feminism , and how has affect in our life and how is importent. Actually , he did not say any thing new about them for me .However, I was impressed how he does live with this concept as something important I never saw someone thinking like hem . This Conversation it was the best thing happened in my vacation

Any corrections and advices are welcome.

Question

Hi everyone,

Is it a good introduction of a Five paragraph essay ?

Have you ever feel you have a complete life, and you have a wonderful lifestyle.However, someone suddenly come in your life and change everything ? summer in 2018 I was  in France .I met someone his name is Joy and he was just like his name . The first meeting was in Shakespeare library when we talked about Feminism , and how has affect in our life and how is importent. Actually , he did not say any thing new about them for me .However, I was impressed how he does live with this concept as something important I never saw someone thinking like hem . This Conversation it was the best thing happened in my vacation

Any corrections and advices are welcome.

Answer

It’s a great intro for an essay, I would say. Im not going to dwell on syntax, since that can be left for the final draft. It makes me want to know more about Joy and why he left such a good impression. If your conversations on feminism are the main point, perhaps you should explain a little more about what you will be addressing in the next three paragraphs. This is only to add some structure, totally optional. For example: “We talked about feminism and its effect on our lives (second paragraph) and how important we both felt it to be (third para). It wasn’t that he said anything new or groundbreaking, but I was greatly impressed by his [...] (possibly the focus of the fourth para). Good luck Razan!