im...distressed....... i dont speak English that will, so i speak english im so nervous...but today can dire with a native speake !!... but can not English so refuse....
Think about it in a different way. Suppose you talk perfect English from the start. "That nativee speaking guy will be like "What the heck is happening? Wasn't I supposed to talk to a non-native speaker? Where are all the mistakes? This girl must playing tricks on me. She obviously doesn't need my company to improve her English. Gosh, she may be even speaking English better than I. I'm leaving..."
Perhaps you should work toward lowering your expectations, and decreasing that
"heightened sensitivfity" you have developed about a language partner.
If you adopt an attitude which assures you that you are only searching for at least one language partner that can lead you and guide you into relaxed and comfortable language pracitce, your activity will be more pleasant and less stressful.
What you are doing can be described this way. You are giving away all of your power to others.
That is not necessary. Your partner is just a person offering some language practice.
They aren't "God". They are just people. Nobody has to be perfect. If someone is not friendly with you, or if they seem unkind, forget them and look for another language partner.