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独坐敬亭山----我的翻译 独坐敬亭山 - Sitting Alone On Jingting Mountian 李白 -- Li Bai 众鸟高飞尽, Birds fly high in the sky, 孤云独去闲。 While a lone cloud drifts idly by. 相看两不厌, Together, endless is our gaze, 只有敬亭山。 Until only the mountain remains. This is my translation of the poem. If you see any errors, please point them out.
2011年12月13日 18:59
訂正 · 20

独坐敬亭山----我的翻译

独坐敬亭山 - Sitting Alone On Jingting Mountian
李白 -- Li Bai

众鸟高飞尽, Birds fly high in the sky,             Gone are the high soaring flocks,
孤云独去闲。 While a lone cloud drifts idly by.  Along comes a lone cloud drifting quietly.
相看两不厌, Together, endless is our gaze,     How tireless is our gaze for each other,
只有敬亭山。 Until only the mountain remains.   For you are my one and only Mt. Jingting.

This is my translation of the poem. If you see any errors, please point them out.

Here comes the commentary.  

The keywords to the two opening lines are 尽 (the end, utlimate, all gone, etc) and (leisure, idleness etc).  The first line is a metaphorical description of a gaiety life gone by.  Li Po was a court official before being banished due to jealousy of the chief enunch who was once humilated by him to tend to his boots while he composed a diplomatic reply.

does have its usual meaning here.  It is used to convey a sense of carefreeness after being banished from the court; like the quietude and calm after the birds (court officials) are gone from his life.

In a literal sense, the poet is gazing at Mt Jingting in deep thought.  The mountain is now personified into a solid dear friend who is always there by his side, never be tired of each other's company.  Court officials are only your friends when you are powerful or has the favour of the emperor.

This poem is about the simple pleasures of life, far away from the tubulence of the Court.

Also note the antithesis in the construction of the couplet in the first two lines.  众鸟 (flocks of birds) vs 孤云(single cloud), the actions,高飞 vs 独去 and finally, vs

2011年12月14日
”众“鸟“高飞”“尽” means “all” the birds are "soaring high into the sky“ and "i can't capture a single glance of them anymore." ”相看” refers to me and the mountain. meaning: i have no one to look at but you. underneath its nothing-bothers-me-surface, is actually a quite melancholic poem, not a love poem. Apart from the meaning, I think you really did a good job though. your translation has a charm. Respect!
2012年2月15日
the last sentence "Until only the mountain remains", i feeling "just only the mountain remains" more better. ^_^
2011年12月14日
Wow! I think the translation is really good. It not only captures the meaning but rhymes as well. It even has good rhythm and a poetic word choice.
2011年12月14日
Of course translating poems need to be literal otherwise the reader will not be able to enjoy the originality of the poem. This is what footnotes are for.
2011年12月14日
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