The number of smokers (where? when?) is enormous and the dangers caused by smoking have been known for many years. Both the general public and experts are concerned about the problems caused by smoking. To protect people and the environment as well as to provide a healthier life, some countries have banned smoking in workplaces and public spaces. In my opinion, this is a good practice and I do agree. In this essay I will outline some reasons for this point of view.
It is good to keep in mind that while smoking is optional, but breathing is not. We have been told by scientists, that the risk of diseases such as heart attacks, cancers, asthma and other respiratory infections is higher for passive smokers - that is, those who are exposed to the smoker’s secondhand smoke. This is People’s have the right to live in a healthy environment. There are many children as well as adults who have to cope with streets polluted by smokers. or Furthermore, it is likely that some people may have an allergy to smoke, so even if smokers do not intend to put those people in danger, but they still do.
On the other hand In addition to this, the cost of treatment paid by governments and the average person is significantly high. Therefore, protecting people from smoke will reduce health care costs.
Besides, smoking freely in public could encourage younger people to try it. For example, a child without any knowledge about the danger of cigarette smoke, seeing people everywhere smoking, may be keen to experience what adults do.
In short, I think forbidding smokers not to smoke in public places and workplaces has many advantages and it is the best strategy to protect people’s lives and to keep the environment free from pollution.
I can see your improvement! I offered some more appropriate alternatives to "people" and fixed some collocation errors (eg. <em>cause a problem</em>). Remember that <em>forbid</em> has a negative meaning, so adding "not" would give the opposite meaning to the sentence.
<em>On the other hand</em> is only used when you say something opposite to what you've already said.