san
Sunny Sunday It's so peaceful. To take a deep breath as you are listening music you love. Bird sound whispering, and wind flowing through my house.
2015年4月26日 04:15
訂正 · 2
2

Sunny Sunday

It's so peaceful to take a deep breath as you are listening to music you love. Birds are whispering and the wind is flowing through my house.

 

Sounds like a relaxing Sunday. Hope you are having a great day!

2015年4月26日
1

Sunny Sunday

It's so peaceful. Taking a deep breath as you are listening to music you love. Birds singing softly. The wind flowing through my house.

 

There are many variations of describing the birds besides the one I used. Another could be "Birds silently tweeting" or "Birds lightly chirping".

Also by having "to take" before your sentence about music made it seems like you'd continue on listing other things that are peaceful, which you did, but you didn't add a coma(,). Even if you did add a coma afterwards, it would not have worked well with the way your sentence is structured. 

The way I have fixed the sentence, if there were comas in between than it would look like this:

It's so peaceful. To take a deep breath as you are listening to music you love, birds singing softly, and the wind flowing through my the house.

This also works well. It all depends on if you are wanting to add emphasis. 

2015年4月26日
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