IELTS Writing TASK 2. Fashionable clothes
Hi everyone! I´m trying to improve my writing skills, so I have written this essay from the IELTS test to practice.
If someone could check it I would be really grateful!
MANY PEOPLE LIKE TO WEAR FASHIONABLE CLOTHES.
WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS THE CASE?
IS THIS A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING?
Nowadays, more and more people are spending their incomes on clothes, and if something it is for sure is that the clothes' world is a big business. In addition, markets and malls are getting clothes more suitable for people every day.
I would like to say, that I support both opinions. On one hand, I think it is a good thing because everyone has multiples hobbies such as play extreme sports or just gardening. Nonetheless, one of this hobbies could it be to buy new clothes and be into fashion. In fact, as I said before, clothes' world is a massive business. I do not have the data I would need to be confident on this matter, but I believe this particular world makes enlarge economy gradually every year. Another key point is the importance of the appearance in the society. Every citizen that wants to get a job, must show a good image of themselves. This feature helps to show to society that you are the right person to get that position.
On the other hand, I believe people should expend their proceeds in other important things, for instance: Education. At the present time, there are several issues in our country regarding to education that I think we need to solve first instead of investing too much money on clothes.
From my experience, I would like to add that one of my relatives likes spending much money in fashionable clothes, as a consequence sometimes she does not have enough money to spend on other kinds of things.
Let me conclude by saying that if people keep investing money like that, consumerism will increase more and more each day.
I'm not sure I would start a test with nowadays, but I guess it may be acceptable depending on formality. As for the next part, their hobby is extreme sports, they play extreme sports, much like a coat being 'in fashion' (a coat is fashionable) or you're into fashion. A little common mistake (atleast in 'English' maybe not 'American English' I wouldn't know), you invest in, you spend time on. Don't forget you're using plural 'things' meaning there are many different 'kinds'.
The general body of the essay is very well written, not many mistakes and even then I would say minor at that, very easily understandable and you probably talk/write better than many native English people.
IELTS Writing TASK 2. Fashionable clothes
Hi everyone! I´m trying to improve my writing skills, so I have written this essay from the IELTS test to practice.
If someone could check it I would be really grateful!
MANY PEOPLE LIKE TO WEAR FASHIONABLE CLOTHES.
WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS THE CASE?
IS THIS A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING?
Nowadays, more and more people are spending their incomes in on clothes, and if something it is for sure (For me, I think I would use the word "certain" because it sounds more natural to me but I think you could still use the word "sure.") is that the clothes world is a big business. In addition to this, markets and malls are getting clothes that are more suitable for people every day.
I would like to say, that I support both opinions. On one hand, I think it is a good thing because everyone has multiples hobbies such as playing extreme sports or just gardening. Nonetheless, one of this these hobbies could it be to buy new clothes and be in fashion. In fact, as I said before, the clothes world is a massive business. I do not have the data I would need to be confident on this matter, but I believe this particular world (I think maybe the word "business" would be more suitable?) makes enlarge helps the economy gradually every each year. Another key point is the importance of the appearance in the society. Every citizen that wants to get a job, must show a good image of themselves. This feature helps to show to society that you are the right person to get that position.
On the other hand, I believe people should expend their proceeds in spend their money/income on other important things, for instance: Education. At the this present time, there are several issues in our country regarding to Education that I think we need to solve first instead of investing too much money in on clothes.
From my experience, I would like to add that one of my relatives likes spending much a lot of money in on fashionable clothes, as a consequence sometimes she has not does not/doesn't have enough money to spend in on other kind of things.
Let me conclude by saying that if people keep investing money like that, consumerism will increase more and more each day.
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¡Muy bien hecho! Sólo algunos errores (como "on" en lugar de "in") pero en general es muy bueno.
IELTS Writing TASK 2. Fashionable clothes
Hi everyone! I´m trying to improve my writing skills, so I have written this essay from the IELTS test to practice.
If someone could check it I would be really grateful!
MANY PEOPLE LIKE TO WEAR FASHIONABLE CLOTHES.
WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS THE CASE?
IS THIS A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING?
Nowadays, more and more people are spending their income on clothes, and if amytjing is for sure it's that the clothes world is a big business. In addition, markets and malls are getting clothes more suitable for people every day.
I would like to say, that I support both opinions. On one hand, I think it is a good thing because everyone has multiples hobbies such as, play extreme sports or just gardening. Nonetheless, one of these hobbies could be to buy new clothes and be fashionable. In fact, as I said before, the clothes world (or clothes industry) is a massive business. I do not have the data I would need to be confident on this matter, but I believe this particularly makes the world's economy enlarge gradually every year. Another key point is the importance of people's appearance in society. Every citizen that wants to get a job must show a good image of themselves. This feature helps to show to society that you are the right person to get that position.
On the other hand, I believe people should expend their proceeds in other important things, for instance: Education. At the present time, there are several issues in our country regarding education that I think we need to solve first instead of investing too much money on clothes.
From my experience, I would like to add that one of my relatives likes spending too much money on fashionable clothes. As a consequence sometimes she doesnt have enough money to spend on other things.
Let me conclude by saying that if people keep investing money like that, consumerism will increase more and more each day.
