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Molly
Today, I went to Hoan Kiem Lake which is near my house. It was incredibly crowded. Coming back, I suggested my daughter going into the fence with me so that we could go home faster. The guardian caught red handed us and he slightly shout at us in a funny way that I how I grow up but how childish I was when I got through the fence to have fun. I just wanted to home faster without going in the jammed crounded people flow.
2024年10月5日 16:19
訂正 · 6
1
Today I went to Hoan Kiem Lake, which is near my house. It was overcrowded. Heading back, I suggested to my daughter that we bypass a fence to save time. A guard caught us red handed, and in a friendly way scolded me about what possible upbringing could have left me now so childish. It was all good fun. I just wanted to beat the crowd and be home again faster.
2024年10月6日
1
Today, I went to Hoan Kiem Lake which is near my house. It was incredibly crowded. On the way back home, I suggested my daughter to go over the fence so that we could go home faster. The guardian caught us red-handed and he slightly shouted at us in such a funny way that I thought that even though I’m a grown up I was childish when I went over the fence to have fun. I just wanted to go home faster without being slowed down by the crowd.
If I can make a suggestion, try to avoid very long sentences because you still have difficulties to structure them properly. Try to be a bit more concise without giving explicit details that can easily be inferred from the context. Good job Molly, keep it up.
2024年10月6日
1
Today, I went to Hoan Kiem Lake, which is near my house. It was incredibly
crowded. Coming back, I suggested that my daughter crash into the fence with me so
that we could go home faster. The guardian caught us red-handed and he slightly
shouted at us in a funny way that even though I am grown up, how childish I was when I
broke through the fence to have fun. I just wanted to get home faster without going in
the jammed crowded people flow.
People flow is weird! Good ideas but structuring sentences could be better
2024年10月5日
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Molly
語学スキル
中国語 (普通話), 英語, フランス語, 日本語, 韓国語, ベトナム語
言語学習
中国語 (普通話), 英語, フランス語, 日本語, 韓国語
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