Very nice thoughts! You did a good job! I would change only these two sentences. 1) Dealing with the big things in my life every day, and paying a lot for me. This sentence needs a subject. (SHE or MOTHER) You could say, SHE deals with the big things in my life and pays a lot for me". OR "Dealing with the big things in my life, SHE pays a lot for me". OR "Dealing with the big things in my life, MY MOTHER pays a lot for me". 2) She taught me when I was doing something wrong. This sentence could be clearer in its TENSE. You could say, " She CORRECTED me when I DID something wrong". (past to match the other sentences) OR "She TAUGHT me when I DID something wrong". Hope this helps