Hey, I need to find a tour on the Internet, can you help me?

Yes, sure, where do you want to go and for how long?

If I were you, I wouldn’t go anywhere.  

Where exactly? Do you have any preferences?

It’s better to change your mind until it’s too late.

Well, I want to do some yoga there and go to some concerts, but not, like, night parties.

Then it’s better to choose the USA. It’s famous for its profound yoga traditions.  

Then it’s better to choose Norway. Look, it’s not far from Goa.

So choose Arambol. Look, this site has offers from different agencies.

Okay, so I just specify my search there, right? Arambol, two weeks, January...

Right. Do you want to have breakfast included? 

Right. What do you like eating for breakfast?

Right. Do you want to have breakfast right now?

Then what about a pet? Do you want a cat or a dog? 

Then what about souvenirs? Do you want to buy some?

And what about a hotel? Do you want a luxury one?

A simple one will be okay, but I want it right next to the sea.

Okay, then you can filter your results by name. 

Okay, then you can filter your results by price.

Okay, then you can filter your results by location.

It’ll be the cheapest option, but be prepared for insects and a cold shower. 

Yes, it’s the best choice if you want some real luxury.

Only if you’re desperate and have nothing to lose.

It'll be fine, I guess. All in all, I go to a hot country. But how can I choose which one is the best?

They all are pretty shitty so choose some random one, there won’t be any difference. 

You can look at the ratings and at the reviews.

Choose the one which has no reviews, it’ll be the best.

Oh, great! It'll make it much easier. But they all seem so expensive!

Then visit your granny in Saratov. It’s definitely cheaper. 

Then don’t go anywhere, sitting at home is the cheapest option.

Saturday isn’t the cheapest day to start your tour. Try Tuesday instead.

Oh, look, all prices are almost two times less. Thanks!

No worries. Don’t forget to pay with your credit card.  

No worries. Don’t forget to pay me my service fee.