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3. "Setbacks," the stories we tell ourselves, and getting unstuck
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When we feel we have had a "setback" in our language learning - we often tell ourselves stories that keep us stuck. In this podcast episode, I will offer some ideas for how we can prevent that from happening, and when it does, how we can start to move forward again.
In summary, what I say is that first we need to assess what has REALLY happened. And we need to look at the STORY we are telling ourselves - about what happened. (We can do this by writing or talking to a coach or a friend or to ourselves using the questions below).
If we can question the stories we have told ourselves about this setback - it becomes easier to take action to get ourselves moving again. Byron Katie is an author who created 4 questions that are helpful in changing our beliefs. The questions are: 1. Is it true? 2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true? 3. How do I react when I believe that thought? 4. Who would I be without that thought?
Turning the setback into an opportunity to take action - any action - can help us get moving again. Getting support is also very helpful.
Writing or speaking exercise (talk into your phone!) -- take 7-10 minutes and see what you discover!:
1. Think of a time when you were trying something new (learning to play a musical instrument, starting a new routine, exercise or diet) - and you had a "perceived setback" - or when you felt you hit a wall/were blocked/"failed." What did you tell yourself at that time? Was that "story" really true? What happened after that? Did you continue doing the thing?
2. Now think of a skill you have mastered. Maybe it's cooking something or riding a bike or being a professional or an entrepreneur. Did you ever have any "setbacks" along the way? (I am sure you did!) What steps did you take to keep going forward? Did you get support to move past these obstacles - or how did you help yourself to continue? What happened next?
If you want - save your words and share them with me! I would love to hear what you think!
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