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Claudia
Although rabbits, unlike dogs, don’t need to go out for a walk every day, I wonder whether my bunny Sweetie will be happier if I take him out now and then. Some people think that rabbits already have enough space at home to move around, and going out only brings risks to them since they are quite sensitive and vulnerable animals. Other people think that rabbits also have the right to see the world outside, and as they go out more often, they become braver and more active. Sweetie is becoming more dynamic and curious day by day. I intend to take him out for a walk nearby someday to see whether he likes it.
2024년 2월 11일 오후 2:10
교정 · 4
1
Although rabbit don’t need to go out for a walk every day,unlike dogs, I
wonder whether my bunny Sweetie would be happier if I took him out now and then.
Some people think that rabbits already have enough space at home to move around,
and going out only brings risks to them since they are quite sensitive and vulnerable animals. While other people think that rabbits also have the right to see the world outside, and as they go out more often, they become braver and more active. Sweetie is becoming more dynamic and curious day by day. I intend to
take him out for a walk nearby someday to see whether he likes it or not.
2024년 2월 11일
Although rabbits, unlike dogs, don’t need to go out for a walk every day, I wonder whether my bunny Sweetie might be happier were I to take him out now and then. Some people think that rabbits already have sufficient space at home to move about, and going out is risky since they are quite sensitive and vulnerable as animals. Others also think that rabbits have a right to see the world outside since in going out more often they become braver and more active. Sweetie is becoming more dynamic and curious day by day. I intend to take him out for a walk nearby someday to see whether he likes it.
Maybe it surprises you that I added a present participle to your sentence "Other people ... active". Let me explain why I did that. I felt that your sentence contained too many SUBJECT + VERB pairs, three in fact. Three independent clauses feels like too much for a sentence so I transformed one of them into a dependent clause. "In going out more often" acts as an adjective clause to modify "they".
2024년 2월 11일
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Claudia
언어 구사 능력
중국어(북경어), 영어, 일본어, 스페인어
학습 언어
영어, 일본어, 스페인어
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