Evan learning IELTS
Could anyone kindly help me revise this article? Thx! People have different opinions about whether governments should fund public education and health care. While I understand that providing these public services creates a financial burden, I think that the education and health care should be supported by governments. One of the main reasons that governments should not fund these public services is that the public service usually becomes inefficient. Nowadays, there is a wide variety of requirements from people, and some of them are often unique. Therefore, it would be hard for governments to cater for everyone. When people's needs can not be fitted, they will complain about the lack of efficiency in public services. Another reason is the public education and health care services are funded by the governments' revenue, and most of the revenue is undoubtedly charged from taxes, which are generally paid by the persons with an occupation. However, there are several reasons for the necessity of public education and health services. Firstly, the profit-oriented schools or hospitals tend to lead a undesirable consequence. Schools or hospitals always have many information advantages to families. In other words, schools or hospitals know the actual situation of the children or patients, and it is easy to make unethical profit by these advantages. If the schools or hospitals were government-funded, the motivation would weaken. Besides, it is the governments' responsibility to provide public services to taxpayers. The taxpayers usually are the parent of children or the children of old patients. Thus, the education and health care services could be the strongest preference for them. In my opinion, the education and health care should definitely be funded by governments.
2022년 9월 17일 오후 4:11
교정 · 4
Could anyone kindly help me revise this article? Thx! People have different opinions about whether government should fund public education and health care. While I understand that providing these public services creates a financial burden, I think that education and health care should be supported by government. One of the main reasons that government should not fund these public services is that the public service then usually becomes inefficient. Nowadays, there are a wide variety of requirements from people, and some of them are often unique. Therefore, it would be hard for governments to cater to everyone. When people's needs can not be fulfilled they will complain about the lack of efficiency in public services. Another reason is public education and health care services are funded by government revenue, and most of the revenue is undoubtedly from taxes, which are generally paid by people with an occupation. However, there are several reasons for the necessity of public education and health services. Firstly, the profit-oriented schools or hospitals tend to lead to an undesirable consequence. Schools or hospitals always have many advantages of information and background about families. In other words, schools or hospitals know the actual situation of the children or patients, and it is easy to make unethical profit by these advantages. If the schools or hospitals were government-funded, the motivation would weaken. Besides, it is the government’s responsibility to provide public services to taxpayers. The taxpayers usually are the parent of children or the children of old patients. Thus, education and health care services could be the strongest preference for them. In my opinion, the education and health care should definitely be funded by government.
Your composition is awkwardly worded in some places. I’ve corrected that. Be careful in your use of articles and plurals. But practice, you have the basics.
2022년 9월 18일
Could anyone kindly help me revise this article? Thx! People have different opinions about whether governments should fund public education and health care. While I understand that providing these public services creates a financial burden, I think that education and health care should be supported by governments. One of the main reasons that governments should not fund these public services is that the public service usually becomes inefficient. Nowadays, there is a wide variety of requirements from people, and some of them are often unique. Therefore, it would be hard for governments to cater to everyone. When people's needs can not be fitted, they will complain about the lack of efficiency in public services. Another reason is that public education and health care services are funded by the government's revenue, and most of the revenue is undoubtedly charged from taxes, which are generally paid by persons with occupations. However, there are several reasons for the necessity of public education and health services. Firstly, profit-oriented schools or hospitals tend to lead to undesirable consequences. Schools or hospitals always have many information advantages for families. In other words, schools or hospitals know the actual situation of the children or patients, and it is easy to make an unethical profit from these advantages. If the schools or hospitals were government-funded, the motivation would weaken. Besides, it is the government's responsibility to provide public services to taxpayers. The taxpayers usually are the parent of children or the children of old patients. Thus, education and health care services could be the strongest preference for them. In my opinion, education and health care should definitely be funded by governments.
This was a well thought article. Excellent articulation and thought description and layout. Great combination and cosntruction of vocabulary. Keep it up
2022년 9월 17일
더 빨리 진행하고 싶나요?
이 학습 커뮤니티에 참여하고 무료로 연습해보세요!